That's it isn't it? How i'm going to be for God knows how long. And when I say God knows, I literally mean God only knows. I guess i'm getting kind of antsy in the relationship department again. Yes, I know, i'll find someone when the time is right, but somehow i'm thinking that day isn't coming for a long time, mainly because of something I asked for when me and Meghan finally stopped trying for one another. Wow, now that I think about it, that was a while back, at least a year now. In fact Meghans found a new love and I couldn't be happier for her. We're still friends, although not as close as we once were, but then again that will never happen. Too many changes in both of us. Not that it's a bad thing, but from grade 9 - 12 both of us have become way too different to become as close friends as we were at one point.
It's odd. Lately i've found myself slipping into the person I was before I became J-moose. Just plane Jamie. Weird, i've never said my real name on here before yet now it seems like my name and all of the past experiences that go along with it, are trying to come out once more. The past is once of those things i've never dwelled on all that much, but I do accept that it's there. J-moose and Jamie, two entities in one person. If we counted my real name, James, I go by Jamie since I like it more, there'd be 3. James however is too, how should I put this...to formal. Really that name only comes out when someone is yelling at me, so I guess considering him a part of Jamie is what i'll have to do.
Back to what I was saying. Two entities, one body. Now, I know what your thinking, this kid's off his rocker, making an assumption such as having multiple personalities. Wrong-o. I don't have that, nor will I ever. The best way to explain this is kind of like Harvey Two-Face from batman. On the one side you have is clean regular old face, someone who looks trust worthy and caring. On the other you have the scarred face that represents evil, corruption, and in some weird way, power over the weak. Jamie would be this side, just as J-moose would be the other.
Odd that i'm thinking about my past, since it was my horoscope that brought it up. However, it told me that it would hurt when I thought about it. It's not so much of hurt, as it is acceptance. Maybe to fully let J-moose move on, Jamie has to accomplish one final task. Problem being, Jamie is something I gave up being, and letting myself slip back into that would prove challenging, yet it appeals to me in a way most possessions can't.
Maybe once more....
J-moose
..or Jamie?
ps. The dates on blogger get messed up so it'll probably say that I posted this at least 4 days ago. Not true. The current date is August 11th 2008.
