So combining the inspiration that Klla just gave me, which would be the title above this post, and the amazing lyrics of Dallas Green and Gord Downie, i've decided to write a new blog. I'm going to share a line for you guys from the song "Sleeping Sickness", done by the artists mentioned above. It appears on City And Colour's new album so if you haven't heard it yet, this is why. All I ask is that you give the song a listen, and if you don't like it, then I can't really apologize because you obviously have no taste. I'm not joking either.
"Someone come and save my life. Maybe i'll sleep when I am dead, but now it's like the night is taking sides. With all the worries that occupy the back of my mind, could it be, this misery will suffice?"
I had this little stroke of genius a few days ago, and i've been trying to figure out how to put in words. For those of you who go to BT with me you know that in grade 9 religion we got asked to make a little time capsule for ourselves to read at our graduation. One such item that we put in it was a letter to our future self. I honestly don't remember what I wrote on the letter, or that I even wrote it, but the idea for this blog is based off that. If you look a few blogs below I wrote about the conversation I had with Eric and what I said about changing the littlest detail could affect you in the long run, or something similar to that. Well my idea here is to write a letter to my younger self. My 10 year old self to be exact. From what I can remember the person I hated being for around 7 years began to develop at that age, so I thought it would be a neat idea to write a letter to him, not a warning about how to avoid the trials and tibulations he's going to go through in those 7 years, but more of advice on how to deal with. The way I see it, is that if I had someone looking out for me back then, I wouldn't have hated myself for so long. Then again, knowing me, if I had recieved a letter like the one i'm about to write, I probably would have thrown it out and not cared about what was said. Oh and i'll still be referring to myself as j-moose in the letter, even though you all know who I am.
Dear J-moose
Good day to you my friend. Yes, I've said good day, and I say it quite often, or should I say we say it quite often. I guess an explanation would be in order, since i'm sure you won't believe this if not properly explained. I'm you, just 8 years into the future. I can think of no reason to believe in what i'm about to write other than this, you have begun questioning the basic principals of your life, and for once, although you are afraid to admit it, you don't want to be alone.
Where to begin, since there's so many things I could say. For starters, the next 7 years are going to be filled with sorrow and pain. Why you might ask? It's because of what your going to become. Your going to be in pain for numerous reasons, heartbreak, the loss of friends, the days when you just hate everyone around you and wish nothing more than to be left alone, only to suffer more as a result. Love, yes love, with the only girl you've ever liked. She'll break your heart and in return you'll break hers. Of course you'll have other crushes but you won't find someone who has those mutual feelings for you, at least I haven't found anyone yet. Your going to go through most of elementary school, and high school friendless, because really it is only now that there are 4 people in our life that we can trust. One, will bring you closer to God, another will show you that your not alone, and that we all have our own burdens to carry. One will be your only guy friend and although you might not see him as one at first, he's someone i'd fight with anyday. The last will, although she doesn't really know it, show you how pure love can be, because you get the honour of watching her fall for someone she never expected to love. Trust me, these four have something special about them, just know that you'll be waiting a while to find them. I would also like you to know, that there will be 3 others who will act as wolves in sheeps clothing. You'll trust them at first, but really they only bring you pain in the end. Another thing to know is that, your not the brightest bulb in the box. It's unfortunatr really, since according to our grade 8 teacher, we could do advanced math with the smart kids. I would advise you to keep that a secret, because one of those 3 who hurt you, will use this against you multiple times and it'll hurt a lot. Keep this in mind though, you do have the potential to do well, because i've seen what happens when we try. All you can really do is answer each question with your own unique twist on it. Weird advice, but trust me it'll help......
part 2 of this will be written tomorrow, because i'm tried and need rest.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Canadians Are Always Willing To Go That Extra Mile For Charity
Who knew musicians could actually be somewhat funny?
Sunday, February 17, 2008
I Got As High As A Kite On Friday Night
It's kind of weird that i'm on this page right now, as I had no intention of writing here today, but something out of the ordinary is occuring right now, and I feel the need to write about it. I'm sure i've mentioned before, in at least one blog, about my friend Kristina, whom I hold very close to my heart, and her boyfriend Eric.
About 10 mintues ago, Eric started talking with me over msn, and of course I figured it would be just like any conversation with one of my friends. Surpisingly enough, he said that he had a question for me. Now, when I first read it I thought, maybe he was going to ask me something about Kristina, or how my ipod was working, since he helped me fix it a while back. This was different though. When I read his question, it kind of came as a bit of a suprise, since I never really thought i'd anyone would ask me this.This is the question he proposed to me:
"u act as u missed so much in life right, and u seem to like to protray this image that u r quite content and unhappy..or r u happy and just like to express what u think u should have done?"
Wow. When I read it, two things went through my mind. First, what provoked him to ask this question? I remembered that Kristina had said she'd shown him a few of my past blogs, back when I starting writing on here, but it seemed liked there had to be a driving force behind this. Secondly, how do I answer him? My mind came up with about a thousand different ways to respond to this question, and yet from all of those I couldn't seem to choose one. So i calmed myself a little bit and simply said this:
"it's hard to say. i mean, there are so many chances i wanted to take and so many things i've wanted to do, but i never made the motion to do so. it's not to say that i'm unhappy because i've always managed to find something else to try and do, but there's that questioning that occurs when i think about if i had decided to travel down a different path"
It's funny to think about that answer. Most days when I remember something from my past I will completely over-analyse the situation and try to figure out why I did what I did and what would have happened if I had done just one thing differently. To me, not knowing what could have been is one of the hardest things i'll have to live through.
After I responded Eric asked me another question, to which I feel I could have answered a bit better. He asked whats with me and no girlfriend. Ok, so I kind of didn't really have an answer for it, since I do want a girlfriend. So here's my real response, and believe me it's going to sound a little weird, but it's honestly what I believe. To me, having a girlfriend right now is something that is unlikely to happen for the following reasons.
1. I have yet to meet a girl interested in me as more than a friend. And it's not a bad thing, because being single is sometimes pretty fun.
2. Out of the women at BT and wal-mart 95% in each place are skanks/sluts. Sorry, i'm just not into that kind of thing.
3. I hurt the only girl I ever loved in a bad way. I prayed to God one night and asked him this. "If I can just be her friend again, it won't matter how long I have to wait. I ruined my true love and for that I will wait as long as I have to, to find someone new".
I know, it sounds kind of weird, but i'm not one to lie during my blogs, it's just not my style. So here's the deal kids. I'm not going to look for someone new, because I believe that I already have that someone in my life. No it's not my ex, but it's someone that I won't expect at all. I'm going to find someone that I probably would never think of as more than a friend, and when I do, I know that it'll be good, for me and her.
Until next time my fellow bloggers,
J-moose
About 10 mintues ago, Eric started talking with me over msn, and of course I figured it would be just like any conversation with one of my friends. Surpisingly enough, he said that he had a question for me. Now, when I first read it I thought, maybe he was going to ask me something about Kristina, or how my ipod was working, since he helped me fix it a while back. This was different though. When I read his question, it kind of came as a bit of a suprise, since I never really thought i'd anyone would ask me this.This is the question he proposed to me:
"u act as u missed so much in life right, and u seem to like to protray this image that u r quite content and unhappy..or r u happy and just like to express what u think u should have done?"
Wow. When I read it, two things went through my mind. First, what provoked him to ask this question? I remembered that Kristina had said she'd shown him a few of my past blogs, back when I starting writing on here, but it seemed liked there had to be a driving force behind this. Secondly, how do I answer him? My mind came up with about a thousand different ways to respond to this question, and yet from all of those I couldn't seem to choose one. So i calmed myself a little bit and simply said this:
"it's hard to say. i mean, there are so many chances i wanted to take and so many things i've wanted to do, but i never made the motion to do so. it's not to say that i'm unhappy because i've always managed to find something else to try and do, but there's that questioning that occurs when i think about if i had decided to travel down a different path"
It's funny to think about that answer. Most days when I remember something from my past I will completely over-analyse the situation and try to figure out why I did what I did and what would have happened if I had done just one thing differently. To me, not knowing what could have been is one of the hardest things i'll have to live through.
After I responded Eric asked me another question, to which I feel I could have answered a bit better. He asked whats with me and no girlfriend. Ok, so I kind of didn't really have an answer for it, since I do want a girlfriend. So here's my real response, and believe me it's going to sound a little weird, but it's honestly what I believe. To me, having a girlfriend right now is something that is unlikely to happen for the following reasons.
1. I have yet to meet a girl interested in me as more than a friend. And it's not a bad thing, because being single is sometimes pretty fun.
2. Out of the women at BT and wal-mart 95% in each place are skanks/sluts. Sorry, i'm just not into that kind of thing.
3. I hurt the only girl I ever loved in a bad way. I prayed to God one night and asked him this. "If I can just be her friend again, it won't matter how long I have to wait. I ruined my true love and for that I will wait as long as I have to, to find someone new".
I know, it sounds kind of weird, but i'm not one to lie during my blogs, it's just not my style. So here's the deal kids. I'm not going to look for someone new, because I believe that I already have that someone in my life. No it's not my ex, but it's someone that I won't expect at all. I'm going to find someone that I probably would never think of as more than a friend, and when I do, I know that it'll be good, for me and her.
Until next time my fellow bloggers,
J-moose
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