His Choices Are A pack and leave, B begin to make his peace, or C start screaming until he has no voice

How many of you have a dream? Something you want to accomplish in your life, that no one can stop you from doing. Some dream to win the lottery or marry a supermodel. Others dream about a life that will never exist because it's simply to far'fetched. I guess i can say the same for me. I've always dreamed of a life where i could be this famous rock star, or a tv personality. But really those are nothing compared to what i really want. This is gonna sound a little weird but bear with me.

My one true dream is to be forgotten. Weird huh? Let me explain how this came about. I had a childhood where i wasn't noticed very much, the odd child out if you will. I mean my parents noticed me of course, but to other kids i was the one you didn't really talk too. So i had a thought. What if i could be erased from the world? Make it look like i never even existed. This thought seemed to compel me over the years. For example, most of you notice how i don't like being in photographs. Well this kind of explains why. I'm sure i'm not the only one with a weird dream like this, but i'd love to hear what you guys think. Hit me with a comment or two.....

J-Moose

New Musics Always Make Me Feel Good Inside

Have you guys ever wished you could be a part of something huge? I mean, something that you know would have an effect on everyone around you. Yesterday i wrote about Raine Maida's new song "Yellow Brick Road", and today the video for it was released. I always read about bands needing extras for music vid's, but this video is something i would have loved to be a part of. Raine spent the entire day in Toronto in an attempt to raise $30,000 to build a school in the congo. Most of you will recognize most places he plays at, like 102.1 the edge and spadina ave. There's also a few cameo's by some of Canada's up and coming musicians, including IllScarlett and Daniel Victor of Neverending White Lights. Its just one of those things that i would have loved to be a part of. http://youtube.com/watch?v=MrfqA2vTDyE

There's the link for the vid. Enjoy my friends......

J-Moose

Strength Of A God As I Open My Hands To You

So much to say, so little time to say it....wait who am i kidding i have no social life so i've got all the time in the world!!! (not that its a bad thing)

I started writing this blog last night, and unfortunately didn't get a chance to finish it, but now seems like a better time than any. I attended a Matthew Good concert recently and it was one of the most amazing things i've ever been to. But i wanna discuss something he talked about in between songs. Over a 20 years ago a canadian man was travelling in Montana where two young men were kind enough to pick him up and give him a ride. Unfortunately for the two men, the guy they picked up killed them and has been on death row for 20 years. Finally they have decided to give him the lethal injection which will be his demise. Now usually Canada asks for what is called a Clemency, meaning he would be returned to Canada to spend his life rotting in prison, but not this time. Canada hasn't asked for clemency because Steven Harper won't allow it. You might be asking yourselves why i'm making a big deal out of this but trust me i have my reasons. You see, if Canada lets this guy get the injection, it opens up the possibility of re-instating capitol punishment in Canada. Is this something we really want to happen? I understand that he killed to innocent men and that he should be punished, but killing him solves nothing. I'm sure the families of those men would be happy if he was brought to justice but this not the way. Everylife is important, no matter whose it is. We all have some divine purpose in the world, and unfortunately this mans purpose was to end up killing two innocent men. Not every apple you pick can be perfect. There's always a dark spot that you'll miss.......


J-Moose

Journeying Down The Yellow Brick Road

Ah, the bliss that is music. I think music kind of started impacting me in grade 9. I remember i used to walk around the halls of Christ the king with this big ass diskman and i'd have it cranked to full blast so i didn't have to put up with anyone within five feet of myself. Thinking further back i even remember the first cd i actually bought and listened to all the way through, it was "Chuck" by Sum41. Of course that was one of their weakest albums but really i didn't care at the time. Music has this amazing effect on people to the point where it will stop them dead in their tracks if they relate to the song. I'm sure most people have seen the episode of Seinfeld where the one guy Elaine is dating has this unhealthy obsession with the song Desperado.

Its kind of hard to say what my favourite song of all time is because i have too many. One is never enough for a music maniac like myself. A favourite artist? hmm, i think i'll seperate this by country to make it easier.

Canada: Matthew Good
America: Green Day

Matt Good's music has helped me through some tough times. If it wasn't for him, i honestly don't know what i'd do with myself. The song "Suburbia" is probably my all time favourite. I don't know what it is about this song, but i've always enjoyed the message i thought to be present in it. It simply says to not take things for granted. One day you'll turn your head and everything you held dear could be gone. I wake up to this song as a reminder not to take my life for granted. Now as for Green Day, i don't have some special bond with any of their songs, and really i only listen to them because they just write songs that i can listen to wherever and whenever.

Now i'm gonna promote a song which i currently can't get out of my head. It comes from the amazingly multi-talented Raine Maida. Most people know him as the outspoken frontman of Our Lady Peace, but with some time in between OLP albums, he's managed to record his first solo album "The Hunters Lullabye". The first single "Yellow Brick Road" is something everyone can relate to.

"If i knew now what i knew then i'd back up do it all again, take a bow, take it real slow, take a ride down the yellow brick road".

I've posted a link to his myspace page with hopes that you guys will go check out some of other songs, i personally recommend the song "Sex, Love, Honey". His music on this album is a lot darker then anything OLP has done before, so if your expecting an OLP sounding album, perish the thought. I think i'll write another blog within the next 2 hours or so, so hopefully you guys will come back to read it....

J-Moose

Here's To You Miss K

This blog goes to a beautiful young lady who i will refer to as Miss K. Enjoy it!


I have 3 classes this semester and 2 out of the 3 are enjoyable. There is one however, where a creature of a terrible evil lurks. I am talking about the devil in room 225, or the modern day Mussolini (People might like her so i'll refer to her as an alias). Everyday we have to go and suffer under her and her constant attempts to make us look like idiots. To her, yelling is talking normally. Not fun, because i'm pretty sure that my eardrums don't agree with this method. She also has this crazy idea that she knows every fucking there in the world and constantly patronizes us for trying to prove her wrong. Listen up lady, i'm gonna lay it down for you in a language that even you can understand. YOU ARE A COMPLETE AND TOTAL MORON, AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO CALL YOURSELF A TEACHER. TEACHERS ACTUALLY HAVE TO TEACH THE CLASS TO BE CONSIDERED A TEACHER. ALL YOU FUCKING DO IS SIT AT YOUR DESK AND TELL US TO SHUT UP, WHEN WE IN FACT ARE JUST WHISPERING. YOU EITHER NEED TO HAVE YOUR EYES EXAMINED, OR EVEN BETTER, YOUR HEAD.

And that kids, is my little rant about the devil in room 225. Another blog on a new topic will go up tonight, hopefully by 8 pm, possibly earlier......

J-Moose

And All Of A Sudden I Had One of Those Weird Crystalizing Moments

I'm a complex person. For the majority of my life i was an angry person, but recently something happened to me that made me wanna change. I had this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach that wouldn't go away. It made me realize something that i have denied since i was 10. I'm a lonely person. As much as i love my solitude, having someone else around to talk to is what i really want. A few days after this happened i attended a party at a friends house and there was an individual there i hadn't talked to in over 3 months. In most cases i would have avoided this person because i didn't know what to say to her, but as the night went on i slowly found myself feeling slightly worse about why i hadn't talked to her for 3 months. When i went home that night i couldn't think straight, my whole way of life was being brought into question. What if being the person i've been for the last 7 years has been wrong? I talked to someone the next day about what i was feeling and what i should do. Miss S as i will refer to her pretty much told me this. "You have friends and people who care about, weither you choose to accept it or not". That struck me deep. Weither i choose to accept it or not? i kind of vowed to myself that night that i had to change, no matter how much i wanted to be the old me, i knew that deep down inside there was someone who had only seen the light of day a few times.


After this vow i ventured outside for my usual walk around my neighbourhood, but something had changed. I stopped in front of the park and looked up at the stars, and for once in my life i saw something that i'd never seen before. The beauty of the night. I stared for at least 5 minutes, and then i looked at the park again. I looked at my ipod at turned it off and i just stood. The time i wanted music to express how i felt, there wasn't a song in the world that could have done it. And then everything kind of became clear to me, and i knew the answer to my question. It's called Akhams Razor (don't know if i'm spelling this right). It means that the simplest most obvious answer is the right one. From that point on i knew what had to be done. Although some of the things i've done in the past years can't be fixed, i can try to start over as someone i've wanted to be for a long long time.......

J-Moose

I Think My Childhood Was A Sham

Ok, so most people, i'm assuming, had a favourite song as a little kid. Mine was "the cat came back" by Fred Penner. I remember going nuts everytime i heard that song, so today i decided to relive a little bit of my childhood and listen to it for old times sake. HOLY CRAP FUCK!!! this is one messed up song. When your a kid, you don't realize what the lyrics mean, but when i listened to this song today i was in complete awe. "The man around the corner swore he'd kill the cat on sight, so he loaded up his shotgun with nails and dynamite" WHAT THE HELL?!?! when and where did that line come from? i seriously don't remeber this being a violent song. Firstly, why do you hate the cat so much? It's a cat. It's not gonna give you cancer, but then again pretty much anything will these days, so i can understand why you might want to get rid of it. Oh wait, the rest of the song kind of explains why you want to get rid of the cat. "he waited for the cat to come around. 97 pieces of the man was all they ever found'......Is this some sort of psycopathic cat? Is this Satans pet or something. I think i understand why i was angry kid. Damn you Fred Penner, damn you.


J-Moose

Fate And Chaos

I'm not sure how many of you believe in fate, but i can definately say that i do. To me fate has always played a crucial role in my life, weither i've accepted it or not. I told one of my friends today, lets call him Mr.g, that my blog for this evening would be on fate, and he was intrigued to hear my thoughts on it. So i gave him an example, i said, "look at the clock, and tell me the time" the time was 1:14. So i told him to add those 3 numbers up - 14 isn't one number in this- and of course, you get 6. Today is the 6th of November. Weird how that works huh? Of course this is just an example of something random and not related to fate at all, but if i wanted it to be about fate or guessing my fate then i could say this. Possibly in 6 hours something interesting could happen to you, or maybe 6 minutes after a certain hour, something unexpected could happen to you, altering the way you think forever. Lets try it right now. The time is 5:33. I haven't looked at the time since i logged over 20 minutes ago, so this is completely random. 5+3+3= 11. Eleven is usually when i go to bed or write my blogs. Was it by fate that 11 occured or just pure coincidence? By now your probably wondering how i came onto this, and its quite the interesting story. I think it was around 2 years ago that me and my buddy Mr.N were hanging out, playing some guitar in my room. It was around 10:15, and for some reason we just started talking about some of the random things in the world, and we figured we'd make a little game out of it. When i looked at the clock it said 10:21. Now, when i first thought about it, it meant nothing, but then i looked again. 10:21 has the same numbers as my favourite radio station 102.1 the edge. Weird huh? Next i added the numbers up 1+0+1+2= 4. Mr.N came over at 4:00 pm. then i looked at the numbers as a date, 10/21. So the tenth month and the 21st day. So if this was two years ago, it would have been september 21st 2005. With that date in mind, we figured it was code for something amazing to happen on that day. Mr.G told me today that this relates to Chaos Theory. Chaos theory for simpletons would be like this: The flapping of a single butterfly's wing today produces a tiny change in the state of the atmosphere. Over a period of time, what the atmosphere actually does diverges from what it would have done. So, in a month's time, a tornado that would have devastated the Indonesian coast doesn't happen. Or maybe one that wasn't going to happen, does. (http://www.imho.com/grae/chaos/chaos.html)

See how that works. It's uncontrolable and unpredictable.....


J-Moose

True Love Will Find You In The End

What is love my friends? What is true love for that matter? The topic of love is broad in the sense that there's some many different types of it. There's the love between a married couple, brother and sisterly love, friends who say "oh i love you guys" or its a couple who have been going out for a few months and are finally ready to say those 3 magical words. I Love You. Whatever the case may be its a pretty broad topic. In all honesty how many of you know a good definition for the word. Love is something different for everyone. Some people, like myself, have taken it for granted, some people embrace it, some people are scared of it. It's an emotional rollercoaster my friends, and its something we all have to experience at one point or another, whether we like it or not.....

J-Moose

I wanted but could not have

I think i'm kind of forcing myself to write this one, but none the less here we go. This relates to the website address, thingsiwishidid. To me, wishing is almost useless, because 99.9% of the time your wish won't come true. "I wish so and so liked me, i wish i had a million dollars, i wish i was supreme overlord of earth", the last one is for those of us who like to control others. Moving on though, just saying you want something doesn't make it happen. Going out and making your wish come true does!!! If you want something so badly then instead of sitting on your ass all day and saying it make it a reality. I had to learn that the hard way. I wished for something for a long time and instead of making it a reality, i just let it pass me by. Lesson learned kids, lesson definitely learned.....

J-moose

And Its the Fifth Element, Never Repetitive, Always Competetive

A second blog within the hour! Boy i must be good. A friend just suggested that i talk about my day, but i'll let you guys in on something. I'm not interesting, at all. Up until this point and time nothing exciting has happened. If i take a look back in the past few weeks, i get bubkiss. To put it simply, i'm socially challenged. But the world will go on weither or not i choose to act or not. Now there's a thought, how do my actions impact on everyone around me? I'll go with "Being Socially Challenged Means People Don't Have A Reaction To What You Do for $800 Alex". Like the Jeopardy reference? I guess the point here is, if i wanted to make a point, i'd have to do something that would cause someone to react in a manner which makes them think or do something responding to this action. Let's make an action right now, i'll start by saying "My history teacher has no clue about what she's doing and needs to listen to her students for once and realize that her actions affect us in a negative way". If someone who is not one of my close friends reads this, then here's something for you... "If every action has an equal and opposite reaction, tell me what those reactions and their opposites are". Have at it kids..

J-moose

the first of hopefully many

So i guess this is where it all begins. For the last few years i've used my msn page as a blogspot but having a site i guess is better. If i was to say what these blogs are gonna be about, i wouldn't have an answer. There's so many cool things in society to talk about, music, movies, how much my job sucks, friendship, writing songs of my own. So really i'm trying to aim low and do something that i'll enjoy, rather then the population in general. I won't be giving my name away for i feel that it would take away the fun in doing this. My close friends will know who this is because i've posted on facebook and on msn that i now have a site, but to the rest of you, i'm just another random blogger. So kudos to those who will read this and hopefully i'll do a real first blog sometime today or tomorrow.

Cheers