Baby Come On Take It All Off

I've been looking for this song for a long time. Now I can dance to it.

Max McKay

Maxwell McKay

Ch 1.

In a young man's life, there are defining moments that pave his path to adulthood. The first, is his first kiss. Imagine if you will, a young man out on a date with the girl he admires so very much. He walks her up to her front step and she says the classic "I had a really nice time tonight" and he nods his head in agreement, palms sweaty as he rubs them against his jeans, trying to overcome his fear of the next few seconds. His mind his racing as he feels his body begin to move, yet he doesn't remember telling it to. Slowly, he reaches her lips and presses them against his, thus completing his first step into manhood. This was not the case for Max McKay. In fact, it had been quite the opposite for him. His first date had gone as well as one could expect it to, but when he tried to do this, his lady friend proceeded to go inside her house, and slam the door right on those puckered up lips. Yes, Max McKay was left high and dry with his lips, pulsing in pain. Oh, when I said slammed the door in his face, I mean literally slammed it in his face. It's a wonder nothing else got damaged, because in this writers opinion, that's all he has going for him.

Another stepping stone in a young man's life, is the first time he decides to drink. He's out with the boys, maybe a group of girls as well, having some fun, when...let's call him Timmy for intentive purposes, decides to pull out a bottle of rum or vodka, that he snuck out of his dad's cabinet and pass it around. Oh when that first drop of alcohol hit's that boy's mouth, he's hooked for the next 10-15 years, or at least until he get's married. That is if his wife isn't a male version of him, then all bets are off. This did not happen for Max Mckay. No, poor Max had a different tale of his first drink. Being the most daring out of his group of friends, it was Max who brought the booze, and it was Max who ended up drinking the most. His friends, unlike him, were able to control themselves, and had only a few sips of the drink they were offered. Max on the other hand decided that in order to liven things up, he would drink the whole bottle of vodka and see what would happen. If you use your imagination i'm sure you can figure it out.

Max ended up passing out on his friend Matthew's couch, only to awaken 20 minutes later and throw up on Matthew's carpet. Luckily, Matthew was home alone for a few days and figured out how to clean it before his parents ever found out. The third instance is probably the most obvious one, being the first time a man makes love. I won't go into details about this experience, as I've got more respect for myself and for anyone else out there who feel's awkward when reading about this topic. However, I will tell you about Max McKay's first time. As you probably guessed, it didn't happen in the regular perimeters of life. This is not to say that his first time wasn't memorable, but not so much in a good way. Max was at a party with his friends, having some drinks, letting themselves become intoxicated in the night, when he notices a girl from across the room. He quickly goes over and makes small talk for a few minutes, until she takes his hand and leads upstairs. She's goes into an empty room and tells him to wait before he comes in. Patiently, he did so, and before he knew it, her voice beckoned for him. He slowly reached for the door handle and walked in. Now, i'm going to let you assume that this ended badly for Max, as most events usually do. This was probably the worst of them all.

When Max opened the door, he saw two big, bruting guys standing there, cracking their knuckles. Two black eyes, a broken rip, and a sprained ankle later, Max wound up in a hospital, having his clothes taken from him, as well as his Wallet, his phone and his car keys. Life for Max McKay, was anything but ordinary.

This is his story.

This is going to be good. I can feel it,

J-moose

U2 Top Ten

Damn! I knew my video's weren't getting to youtube for a reason.

Love Lockdown?

BAM! I so nailed the title on this one. I've been pondering this one for a few days now, letting my thoughts stew and I think i've come to a conclusion...Reality Bites..Hard. Okay, let me explain where this is coming from. First, it's not about me, big shocker, but instead about this lovley television show called the bachelor. As I'm sure 9/10 of you know, that a few days ago, Mr. Perfect bachelor, who is apparently the most gorgeous thing on earth yet had to resort to reality tv to find a wife, made his selection thus ending the season. Now usually, the two would get married a few months later and then divorce after 3 months of marriage, leaving the guy heartbroken once more and the girl richer then before. Well this time around we got something so stupid and pathetic that even i'm slightly disgusted.

Picture this...the guy proposed to his new found "Love" if that's what we're calling it, and of course she said yes. Whoo! All hands on deck right? Wrong! No, this guy was really stupid in his selection, or at least that's what he's leading me to believe. 6 weeks after the proposal, he decides that "Damn, this bitch is cramping my style. Maybe that girl I dumped will still have me. I mean, the sex was alright, and she was pretty hot. Alright, i'll call her up and make up some cock and bull story about how I made a mistake and that she's really the one for me"

Let's chat for a moment. *pulls out a chair and sits on it backwards, because that's how the cool kids do it". In real life, things don't just happen like that. No, we go through this thing called love and either we end up with that person for a long time, or we break it off and wind up in a morbid state of depression until we realize that there's more than one love in our life. Jay Brock once asked me if I believed in true love and if I thought there was a one and only person out there for me. Naturally, or at least my version of natural, I said yeah, there's only one person out there for me and if I find them, i'll do my best to make them happy. Well to Jay, this couldn't have been further from the truth. He gave me an example of him and his then fiance Michelle, now wife. He said, if Michelle was to die a day after our wedding in some bizarre accident, I would probably be really sad. But, I know that she would want me to move on and find someone new. She wouldn't want me to waste my time thinking that she is the only women out there for me. If she died, I'd be sad, but i'd know that there's someone else out there. Don't waste your time believing that there's only one person in the world for you. You could end up lonely for a long time. It's not what God wants for you, but he'll do it if he deems it necessary.

Okay, so the last part in that is a little religious, but Jay is one of the most religious people I know. Anyway, the point i'm trying to make is that Love isn't something we should be taking for granted. Just think of that poor women who's now left with a broken heart and nothing but a brieft stint on televion to show for it. Wait, I'm being told that it's most likely that she'll become the......THE BACHELORETTE! Oh come on, like it's not going to happen? Prove me wrong world, prove me wrong.

J-moose

Kristina Graham is Awesome!

This was written well over a year ago. It's pretty much about me and Kristina being hyper, so let's see if she remembers it.

Before we begin, i'm going to make this clear to everyone. Kristina Graham is possibly the funniest/greatest person I know!! For around 30 minutes now we've been discussing a few things pertaining to my last post. At first it started with her being a good friend and promising me that we'd still see each other next year when she starts university and I stay back for another year of highschool. It really made my night! Then it kind of moved into what must be the funniest conversation i've ever had on msn.

So at first she promised that I would be in her wedding party with me saying that she could also be in mine, when I found a wife. Here's where it gets funny, or to me and her anyways. Kristina said would find me a wife, to which I assumed now grow on trees. But the catch for this wife is that she must participate in a series of challenges that will test her mentally and physically. Well didn't I just have the greatest idea to make it into a reality tv show, since fox would probably pick it up, and make millions off it! Not only would they pay for my wedding but i'd be filthy rich. Of course i'd split the riches with Kristina since it was her idea. So our idea for the show is that it will take bits and pieces from reality shows already in existence. Here's what I thought up as challenges for each show.

Survivor - Contestants will spend 2 months living in the Ancaster outback or downtown Hamilton, whichever seems worse, and go through a series of challenges including:
...


EDIT: Kristina and me were talking and she said i needed a new blog. So here's an unfinished one that I wrote well over a year ago. Let's see if she remembers it.