Party People

Now when I was younger, there were instances in my life that caused me to be antisocial. At age 10 I gave up trying to impress others with being someone i'm not and instead put on a new persona, someone who was constantly angry with the other children and just kept to himself. As I progressed in age I began to slowly lower my guard and come to trust certain others, but even still it took some work to really trust them. When grade 8 dawned upon me I came out of my little shell (0r big for those of you that know me), and decided i'd make myself noticed a bit more. I made a few friends, but I didn't trust them at all. By this point in time I had already become accustomed to thinking that regardless of who talked to me and regardless of what was said, I couldn't believe in them. There were times when I was wrong, and I admit that, but there were other times when I was right, and I knew that I was still the one being left our of all the fun. All the inside jokes, and all the hangouts that didn't include me took their toll on me, and even I became annoyed with myself when I asked what they were talking about. At age 18 it's nice to see nothing has really changed.

Let me explain, tonight I was invited to a suprise party for a friend named Stephanie, and it was going to be with a group of people that I had never hung out with, just known them vicariously. When I first got the invite I immeadiately thought of rejecting it because of how I imagined it would go. Me trying to awkwardly fit in, while they all have fun. Then again, i'm the anti-social one so really if I didn't have fun it would have been my own fault. Anyways I ended up deciding to go. Of course I wasn't supposed to since I hadn't cleaned my room but since my mother wasn't around and my father is oblivious to her nagging me, he brought me to the party.

So when I got there I pretty much knew who everyone was, so introductions weren't really necessarily. There was a good 20 minutes before the birthday girl showed up so I tried to be as social as possible, but being me I just kind of fiddled around with my ipod. Yes, I said fiddled, get over it. Ok, so eventually the birthday girl shows up and is shocked to see all her friends in her basement. I didn't really say all that much the entire night, mainly because I wouldn't have known what to. I did exchange a few words with Kayleen, Jenae and Tyler, but still I know that I could have talked to the others there. Ahh well, the way I see it is if I hadn't wanted to go I wouldn't have, but I needed to try something new and it was a good time even if I didn't say too much. That's all for now.

J-moose