Same Shit, Same Person, Different Month

There's so much in this world that we take for granted...that I take for granted. I can't even begin to explain how much regret there is in this world. I'm regretful...hell i'm still stuck on living in the past. I'm one of those people that says "Maybe if i'd done it like this" or "I never should have said that". Days when regret comes to haunt you are the worst. Days when you feel that even when you act like yourself, your still covering up the real you. I hate acting like the real me. Everytime I do, I find myself saying things that make me seem so...incoherent. When I go to bed at night, I'm regretful of the way I act, and present myself to the world. There is no right way for me to be. There's the guy that has no life and wastes his time on wikipedia learning the stupidest things that have no relevancy towards anything. There's the guy that makes feeble attempts to try and be social and try not to be mean, but even he fails, because people still tell me they hate me (not even kidding, one of the girls at co-op legitimately said it and she doesn't regret it) and that i'm a jerk. Finally there's the guy that people get to know over time and somehow come to accept him, even though in the back his mind, he can't accept them for accepting him as it confuses the hell out of him as to why they do.

I believe that the world will fall under the weight of it's own ego. I believe we will be crushed by the power of our stupidity and ignorance. Why? Because we're so focused on winning something for our foolish pride that we can't see 10 ft in front of us. My eye look closed everyday, but I see what some people don't want me to. I appear like i'm not listening but I hear things and know things people don't want me to. You call me a snoop, but a snoop uses their information for personal gain. The day I give a fuck about someone I work with, I barely know, or will never see again, is the day I call myself "Castanza, lord of the idiots". George, fuck you and all you troubles. Not that I hate Seinfeld, but damn George is just annonying sometimes.

I love the world, don't get me wrong. But people need to learn where to draw the line. Girls who constantly believe Edward Cullen is coming for them, guys who think that by acting slick and greasing their hair will get them any girl on the dance floor. The husband who cheats on his wife, because "Everyone's doing it" or the wife that actually knows of her husbands filthy loins and doesn't care because she's got a job and house, why ruin it with a divorce. Give me one reason not to pretend like everyone else...someone has to have at least one, right?