Vancouver

"On nights like tonight when no one's around,

I sit in the dark on my hands on the ground,

and I smile like the devil smiles, unseen but proud,

but truth be told I don't know who's at the helm,

just sit tight and i'll make my way to you"

Thank god Matthew Good released a new album. I'd probably be going insane if I didn't have his words to get me by.

Vancouver (the new album), is Good at his best. He's not doing that cheap alterna-country crap that was on his last album, he's finally back to rocking out hard with lyrics that inspire me to want to write again. The quote at the top of the page is from the song "On Nights Like Tonight". When I first heard it, I kind of felt like I was reliving a night like that. Memories flooded in of the times I walked up and down the streets of Ancaster, listening to my Ipod and knowing that one day it'll all be worth it, and to endure any inner turmoil that i'm going through. I try to smile as often as possible, but some days it's harder than others to make a sincere face.

I....don't have much else to say. My life has been quite dull since I left for school. Sure i've made two great friends in Dan And Jordan, but my mind constantly tells me that I can't always hang off them in my need to fit in. They've managed to make friends with the people in their labs, but I can't seem to do that. The people in my labs are just...idiots. Some of them are alright, like Russel and James, but there's others that i'd rather just not talk with. Not because their bad people, but I don't see myself being friends with them or talking to them outside of class. I constantly battle with myself whenever Dan has friends over to our room. I want to come out of my room and go talk with them and hang out, but I can't do it. To me, I see it as those are his people, and I don't wanna invade into their territory. I guess it can't be helped though, I was like this in high school as well. The only difference was I had Kristina there to talk with if things got too tough. I miss her more than I miss any one else from Ancaster.

I went into the walmart I used to work at on Saturday just to say hi to people and see how everyone was doing. It was good to see Paul and.....well it was good to see Paul. Taylor wasn't working until 4 so I missed seeing her. I did see Shelby though...I think it was more awkward than anything. I even saw Ryan, one of my supposed closer friends, and it didn't feel like he was to happy that I was there either. I mean we talked for a few minutes but he was leaving so he wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible, which is understandable, but still it was like, why are you here again? You don't work here, so we don't care what you're doing here, just do it and get out. After that I decided to go visit Omar over at Futureshop. He managed to leave walmart about 2 weeks after I did, and he was happy to do so. I think I talked to Omar longer than I did with anyone else. I think he's the only person from walmart who actually misses my presence, excluding Taylor and Paul.

I sound like I'm expecting people to jump for joy when I go in there, but that wasn't the intention. I guess I was just hoping I had made more of an impact on people there, but I guess not.

I'll say it again, I miss you Kristina Graham, some days more than others.

J-moose