Done

I hate myself. I hate the promises I make to do better. I hate lying to myself about how i'm so much better than the way I act. I hate how I give up after 20 minutes. I just don't know what to do with myself. I don't know if I want to spend my life wondering if the path I'm taking is the right one. I don't want to worry that i'm not doing well in school. I want confidence. I feel like my confidence in my abilities has gone downhill so fast that I'm just no use to anyone. I'm not who I should be. I hate it. God, if you really exist and you by some mystery of the universe read this, I don't blame you for any of it. I want to do well, and i'm failing. Every day I dread getting up because I dread being a disappointment to myself. I don't care about disappointing others, I want to make myself proud. Fuck everyone else, I do what I do for me.