Reel College Ep 1

Vancouver

"On nights like tonight when no one's around,

I sit in the dark on my hands on the ground,

and I smile like the devil smiles, unseen but proud,

but truth be told I don't know who's at the helm,

just sit tight and i'll make my way to you"

Thank god Matthew Good released a new album. I'd probably be going insane if I didn't have his words to get me by.

Vancouver (the new album), is Good at his best. He's not doing that cheap alterna-country crap that was on his last album, he's finally back to rocking out hard with lyrics that inspire me to want to write again. The quote at the top of the page is from the song "On Nights Like Tonight". When I first heard it, I kind of felt like I was reliving a night like that. Memories flooded in of the times I walked up and down the streets of Ancaster, listening to my Ipod and knowing that one day it'll all be worth it, and to endure any inner turmoil that i'm going through. I try to smile as often as possible, but some days it's harder than others to make a sincere face.

I....don't have much else to say. My life has been quite dull since I left for school. Sure i've made two great friends in Dan And Jordan, but my mind constantly tells me that I can't always hang off them in my need to fit in. They've managed to make friends with the people in their labs, but I can't seem to do that. The people in my labs are just...idiots. Some of them are alright, like Russel and James, but there's others that i'd rather just not talk with. Not because their bad people, but I don't see myself being friends with them or talking to them outside of class. I constantly battle with myself whenever Dan has friends over to our room. I want to come out of my room and go talk with them and hang out, but I can't do it. To me, I see it as those are his people, and I don't wanna invade into their territory. I guess it can't be helped though, I was like this in high school as well. The only difference was I had Kristina there to talk with if things got too tough. I miss her more than I miss any one else from Ancaster.

I went into the walmart I used to work at on Saturday just to say hi to people and see how everyone was doing. It was good to see Paul and.....well it was good to see Paul. Taylor wasn't working until 4 so I missed seeing her. I did see Shelby though...I think it was more awkward than anything. I even saw Ryan, one of my supposed closer friends, and it didn't feel like he was to happy that I was there either. I mean we talked for a few minutes but he was leaving so he wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible, which is understandable, but still it was like, why are you here again? You don't work here, so we don't care what you're doing here, just do it and get out. After that I decided to go visit Omar over at Futureshop. He managed to leave walmart about 2 weeks after I did, and he was happy to do so. I think I talked to Omar longer than I did with anyone else. I think he's the only person from walmart who actually misses my presence, excluding Taylor and Paul.

I sound like I'm expecting people to jump for joy when I go in there, but that wasn't the intention. I guess I was just hoping I had made more of an impact on people there, but I guess not.

I'll say it again, I miss you Kristina Graham, some days more than others.

J-moose

Something I Stole From Matthew Good

The following is from www.matthewgood.org

This post intrigued me so i'm putting it on here since I know none of you have ever been to his site. Enjoy :)

A Boy And His Machine Gun

I know who you’re waiting for. No one’s coming though.

I haven’t a lot of time to write these days. With the release of the new record only days away, I’ve been doing a great deal of press and find myself too exhausted to ponder commenting on current events when I’ve free time. I commonly find myself sitting chairs, staring at nothing, trying to put all the pieces floating around in my head together regarding the upcoming tour – what songs to do, what not to do, how to go about it all in an impacting way.

I have well over 100 songs in my catalogue, which means that playing for 90 minutes, or even 120 minutes, is a significant challenge when it comes to deciding what to play. Obviously, performing 6 or 7 songs off the new record is a given, which leaves 7 to 9 others up in the air. You can’t please everyone, nor can I rehearse with a band for two weeks and get over, say, 80 songs down so that random numbers can be pulled out of thin air. It’s something that becomes more daunting every time I tour with a band – how to formulate the show.

On my way into town the other day I spent some time doing some homework. I listened to Beautiful Midnight from beginning to end. It’s hard to imagine that it came out ten years ago this month. It’s equally as hard to imagine that there was a time when I played most of those songs live. Were you to hand me a guitar and ask me to play A Boy And His Machine Gun or Failing The Rorschach Test the truth is that I couldn’t. I remember the melodies, but even the words have escaped me, not to mention the chord progressions. True, it wouldn’t be that difficult to quickly sit down and figure them out, but that just adds more fuel to the fire – what to play, what not to, what’s relevant, what isn’t.

The thing about being in a band is that the past is remembered, you retain the ability to pull out obscure songs from the past. When you’re a solo artist, and have a large catalogue of material, the process becomes far more difficult given the fact that even if those that play with you are brilliant musicians (which Stu, Blake, and Milos are), it’s simply impossible for us to work up that sort of live catalogue given that we live in different cities and the time that we have to prepare is limited. With the old band it was different. We had a rehearsal space, we could get together whenever we wanted. These days I have to fly to the other side of the country to do it. That would be why preparing for an acoustic tour is much easier and the songs that I’m able to perform are greater in number – because I can sit in my basement and do it.

I don’t even know where I’m going with this. I have a break in my schedule right now, so decided to sit down and write. I think I’m going to go lay down and think some more.

Ah thinking – the bane of my existence.

Bittersweet Symphony

Hello....I'm J-moose. And after a long absence I have decided to return. I don't consider the last few posts on this page real posts at all. A side of me just wanted to say that i've actually posted something on the site so it'll satisfy anyone who looks at it. Wrong! No, that's not what I intended this site to be. Me posting random videos of things I like. This site was meant to be about me, and every little thought that comes into my mind. When I first started it, I had all this reason to write and to get those thoughts out into the world. Now, it just seems like I've gotten so lazy that even when something thought provoking comes along I can't get it out.

Just now for instance, my mind kept telling me to listen to "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve. A beautiful song that I've never given much credit to. That's not what i'm here to discuss. The thing that i'm more concerned about is why it choose to make itself known to me now. I think it has to do with all the worrying i've been doing lately. Yes, I worry, quite a lot actually. I can hide it well, since i've done nothing but hide for years. It's quite a lovely talent. I'm looking at the lyrics for the song and after reading it over a few times I think I understand why I wanted to hear it. It's a song about life....life and how some people will be a slave to one road and one thing. Richard Ashcroft, the writer of this song, uses money as the one thing we concern ourselves with. "You're a slave to money then you die" Ouch..I may not be a slave to money, but I can't say i've never not been concerned with the cost of certain things, like college.

Then there's another line. "But i'm a million different people from one day to the next, I can't change". I think I relate most with this line. Jamie, J-moose, Jay, James, all different names i've been called for years, with the more prominent being Jamie and J-moose. It's hard to be one person. I try hard, more than people will ever know, to become someone likeable. I know when I worked at wal-mart I was this odd, rude, egotistical teenager who.....I can't even word it properly. How stupid is that? I can't even give an accurate description of myself. I still believe that to this day, Shelby wanted to slap me, more than she would have with Jared, and believe me she disliked Jared more than anyone. Then again, I could be completely wrong and just really paranoid.

When I arrived here at college, my biggest concern was, who should I be? There's tons of students here, some i'll never even meet, but for the ones I do, I still do not know who I will be to them. There are days when i'll be in a big group of people and I will have some random thought pop into my head, so i'll try to bring their conversation closer towards the thought in my head, just so I can say it. I feel odd when I do that. Jamie wants to keep his mouth shut, but J-moose wants to talk and never stop. My roommate is much more outgoing than I am, and he can meet new people no problem. That's a great quality in a lot of the people here, but it's not something in me. I can't do that. Going up to a crowd of people and saying "Hey" or getting involved in an ongoing conversation.

I feel energetic yet I know I have to sleep. I feel tired yet my mind says keep writing. It wants me to tell everything stored up in it since my last real blog, but I can't. I can't let people know everything..It would take away from the potential for future blogs.

Dirty enough I got me a love and it's so bad, it's so bad. Hello time bomb, ready to go off.

Pictures of You

I don't know if it's possible or not, but in the world of tv I guess almost anything is. I was watching the show One Tree Hill, something i've found myself doing as of late, and to my surprise, tonights episode struck a chord with me. The episode dealt with the main characters and some one off characters having to spend an hour truely getting to know someone. Of course as per tv standards someone ends up with a goth, another a firm believer in God, while some end up with people they already know and re-evaluate why they are friends. They are given 50 minutes to complete a list of things they must learn about one another, as well as a camera to take a photo of how they see this person. Naturally it's a whole life changing event for the kids of tree hill high, but the question that intrigued me was, is it really possible to change your life in 50 minutes?

What happens in 50 minutes? It's 10 minutes until the next hour, or 50 past the current. If you take a shower are you dry in 50 minutes? Can you lose a pound in 50 minutes or can you put one on? This episode showed me something that i'd forgotten about, high school people in particular. Despite the fact that everyone in my graduating class has already enjoyed one year of college or university, I still think some of them will apply to the labels that are given out to every student. My label? Loner. Yeah I had some friends, but I prefered my solitude most days. I hated highschool and most of the people in BT were either idiots or sluts. If I had the oppurtunity to spend 50 minutes with someone in that school, doing what the cast of One Tree Hill did, I don't know what i'd learn about them. Logically thinking, the shows actors have scripts they keep too, so of course their characters will reveal their deepest darkest secrets at the slightest whim. In real life, if I had to spend 50 minutes with one of the popular girls at BT, I would never tell them about me. It's not like they'd care enough to go, wow you so this way when I thought you were this way. Plus with the way students are at my school, someone would end up using the information to make you an outcast.

Fact And Faction.

J-moose