Now before we begin, i'd like to let you guys know that i'm having the worst week possible so far and i'm kind of losing faith in my intelligence.
Today I was sitting in my philosophy class and a song started playing in my head. A song about a girl (most songs are), but to me this song is more than that. It's not a love song, but a description of this girl and what she questions, the struggles she goes through. For me, it was the only thing that kept me from wanting to cry. I don't know why, but even as I write this, I find myself gradually slipping into despair. When I hear this song, a different set of lyrics play through my mind, and instead of a young girl it's about a boy. If this sounds anything like the song about the girl, I apologize Raine Maida.
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Every morning is a new day, a new fight, a new struggle, a new light. He wakes up to the same song, day after day, those same words etched into his brain. The mirror in his bedroom likes to play tricks on his mind, supplying false images of what he should be. Muscular ain't worth it, being a dreamer just don't cut it, those 5 minutes of shame when he sees himself, get harder everyday. He cries out to sky, expecting answers from above, but God won't listen, he's got to do this on his own.
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In his mind he's the epitomy of failiure, friendless, souless, selfless, and scared. But his minds a cruel tool, makes him believe what he really shouldn't. Everyday a new friend prayers for his happiness and hopes to God he knows it. Those lonely hours he spends walking the town searching for his purpose questioning life, love and what he can't understand.
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And hope is what he really needs. Some hope to help him breath. He's grasping for the surface...But the suface just ain't worth it, let me be gone, let me go.
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A reminder that I always write my best when I feel like crap. This is a key example of that.
J-moose
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