Where Do We Go?

If anyone was to ask me at age 10 what i wanted to be when i was older, i probably would have said video game designer. At age 15 I had planned on being a teacher. Now, at age 17 I have no idea where i want to go and what to expect out of life. If I was going to decide on a career I probably would want to go into the field of broadcasting, mainly because it's my dream one day to be a much music vj. I know, its a complete contradiction to my earlier blog stating how my goal in life is to be forgotten, but I am allowed to have more than one dream.

I have days lately where I feel like i'm wasting my time here in my hometown. In the back of my mind I know that there's somewhere else i should be, doing something that would either better the world or just the people around me. How many people can honestly say that they've never felt that they should be somewhere else? Everyone has these kinds of days, but to me these days are kind of a message from God. Religion, something i've choosen not to talk about on here, mainly because i'm currently unsure of what i believe in. There's things about the Catholic church i don't believe in, but then again, there's also tons of it that i do believe. Weird, how most kids who go to a catholic school are unsure of their faith, yet won't admit it.

I think I know what I have to do. I think i'm just gonna take one day over the christmas break and just go out and completely explore my hometown. Not by car, but by foot. In case most people don't know, I walk most places instead of driving (also because I don't have my G1) There's so much I want to see and do around town, but i feel like i've always been sheltered from it, by my own need to stay away from the world around me. I probably won't discover anything new about this place, or about myself from doing it, but it'll be interesting to do.


J-Moose

I've Resorted To Writing On Here To Discuss My Problems.... I'm Weird Like That

I think i've had one of those days where your mind tells you to do one thing, but your heart tells you the complete opposite. Personally these i believe that these are the days that i wait for, mainly because they cause me to think outside of the box and concentrate on things i'd completely ignore. But today it made me focuse on one topic, and it's the topic i always seem to discuss on here, relationships. One would think that i write about relationships because i seem to crave to have one myself, and i think i'd be lying to myself and to anyone who reads this, if i said other wise. Any time I talk to someone about finding a significant other, i always end up saying the exact same thing "there's not a girl desperate enough out there to date me". The more I say that, the more i come to believe it. But then again, i've never met a girl who was interested in me as more then a friend.

To be brutally honest though, i did have something for a friend of mine for the majority of highschool, and we tried to make it work, but it never did, and now she's got a boyfriend. Then again, i'm not the best option for a boyfriend.....there i go, putting myself down, only to realize i'm hurting myself and ruining anything good in my life. Whoops, sidetracked for a second there. Most girls i know are amazing. Their beautiful, smart, funny, and serious when the time calls for it. The ones i consider close friends have boyfriends, and i couldn't be happier for them, but it just leads me to believe that there are no good girls left out there for me. Then again, i don't know many people with which i could go out and meet new people with, so really i'm kind of limited in my choices for relationships. Of course there are some pretty attractive girls where i work, but i'm not one to just go up introduce myself, and try to spark up conversation. And the majority of them already have boyfriends, and in all honesty, are way out of my league.

So there it is kids. I've pretty much resorted to writing on here to discuss my relationship woes. Sad in way, but in another, i can always rely on the feedback of my fellow bloggers......

J-Moose

Wasted Days

Its 1 am, and i'm supposed to be doing my history reviews. About 5 minutes ago i got this weird beat stuck in my head, and all of a sudden i was on this page writing this new poem/song. Don't try to sing it on your own, cause you won't figure out the beat. I think i'm gonna call this song

Wasted Days (ba da ba da )

All my life i've been searching for the happy days.

All my life i've been searching for you.

Destiny, is a part of all the things you do

Don't turn away from me,

In time i know you'll see.

--

I've been so lost

it hurts to realize i'm found

i think i'm souless

but i could just be feeling down

--

Days are wasted, calling on you, its true

Time ticks by and i still don't have a clue.

Where do i go, i honestly can't say i know.

Everything i'll do, i'll do it for you

--

Wasted days, sitting on my ass,

and smoking grass.

My whole life feels like such a fucking

sham

--

Time is ticking

and you're still standing at my door.

I think i've seen enough of your face.

Leave me the hell alone,

because i think i'm fucking stoned

but really who's gonna care?

--

Days are wasted, calling on you, its true
Time ticks by and i still don't have a clue

Where do i go, i honestly can't say i know.
Everything i'll do, i'll do it for you

--

Bah ba, bah ba, ba da ba da ba da.

ps. i still can't get the spacing right, so it's probably gonna look kind of messed. i'll try to make it obvious where there's a new paragraph.

Please Don't Shoot Me Santa

This is just to elaborate on my point of christmas songs have become pathetic.

Christmas Music Is Beyond Messed Up These Days

So, this is the first of my christmas blogs, and i've decided to make christmas music my first topic. Personally i'm not really a big fan of christmas tunes, mainly because i've been hearing them since september for the last 3 years. September? Yes september, and its because i play in my schools band, and our teacher decided that practicing christmas music on september 7th would be a fun idea. Not really.

But besides that, i've always found christmas music to be really annonying. Don't get me wrong, there are some songs out there that i really enjoy. I think there's one called "Christmas Shoes" and it just gets me all the time.

"Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please. It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size. Could you hurry Sir? Daddy says there's not much time. You see she's been sick for quite a while. And I know these shoes will make her smile. And I want it to look beautiful If Momma meets Jesus tonight"

Even i can enjoy a song like that. But then there's the artists who feel they must punish us and redo some of the best songs to ever exist. For example, Alvin and The Chipmunks redoing every christmas song imaginable. I always wondered why their music was only played once a year, and i think its Satans way of punishing us. Your probably thinking i'm off my rocker on this one, but what other time of year do alvin, simon, and theodore come out to shine? Not one other holiday! Satan had to do something for having to suffer under, the birth of christ every year. Joking!!! But then again, for the past two years, the killers have released two christmas songs. Last years effor was pretty decent, but this years is pretty scary. Who in their right mind entitles a song "Please don't shoot me Santa"?? Something tells me Brandon Flowers had a bad experience with Santa as a child, possibly involving a gun of some sort.

In my opinion though, there's really only 2 songs out there worth listening to. Blink-182 "I won't be home for Christmas" and The Pogues "Fairytale Of New York". Trust me kids, these songs make the holidays bearable.....


J-Moose