Blink-182 Are Still The Greatest Band Around

Aerodynamic

Scratch that last post. I might as well write, now that i'm here. First off, it's been almost a month since my last post, so the first question is....how are you people? I know I have a small amount of people who look at this, so I ask purely to show that I do care in my own way......Wow does that ever sound cheesy. No, I don't really care, but it's good to ask. Anyways, the last month has been...boring. I've seen Giacomo/Felicia once, due to scheduling conflicts I had to cancel on them at the last moment a few weeks back, due to co-op commitments. Co-op's been pretty fun. I generally like most of the people there, but one of the co-ops just gets on my nerves so badly, and when people get on my nerves on a constant basis, I tend to be a jerk or overly rude to them almost everytime we talk. Let's put it this way, me and her will never be friends. ..Ever! But in all honesty, she's been there as long as I have and she still can't set up the studio properly, while me and the other co-op can do it by ourselves. Two weeks ago she got there an hour before me and began setting everything up for that nights show. When I arrived she said that everything was done, so I didn't go bother to go look, I just went and started doing the graphics for that evening. Ten minutes later, our techincal director, Dave, came in and asked if everything was done, to which she told him, "Yep, it's all done". Now, not only did Dave begin listing off all the things that needed to be done still, it made me look bad for not doing any of it. Then again, I was told it was done, so I didn't bother to look, nor did I think that I would have to make sure she did it all. So me and the other co-op went into the studio and began finishing all the things that needed to get done. I decided to just go about my work and not say anything, which annonyed her, causing her to say "So your just gonna ignore me?" First thoughts after hearing that.. A)Shut the hell up.. B)You haven' said anything in 5 minutes, and i'm not a conversationalist so don't get pissed when neither of us are talking and then tell me i'm ignoring you... C)Shut the hell up. Then when I did respond by saying, "No, but what am I supposed to say. You said you did everything so I started doing graphics". Her response "Well, you should have looked over everything and made sure I did it all"...Fuck no.

I am not a babysitter. I gave that profession up to work at wal-mart, which is not much better, but none the less. She's been there as long as I have and learned how to do everything. I've set up by myself before, the other guy co-op has set up by himself before. She is the only one who still screws up while doing it, and on top of that blames me for not looking over everything. I understand that she can't move the plasma tv by herself, but she didn't even tell me that it needed to be moved, so I didn't know that still had to be done. Now here's the best part. This past thursday, me, her, and the other guy co-op were having dinner in the break room, and watching tv. Dave comes in and says the studio still needs stuff done and that we shouldn't have started eating before the studio was set up. Now, this time, me and her set up so we're both at blame for this one. Really, only the plasma screen needed to be moved, so me and the guy co-op went and did it quickly. When we went back to the lounge we were all talking and I said something about us having to finish set up before eating. My mind's a little hazy at this part, but I know I said something about her telling me I need to make sure she's done everything right, causing her to get angry and completely deny ever saying that. I kind of just tuned her out as she was got angrier with me, as I didn't want to say something i'd regret. She stormed off to the control room and stayed there until me and the other co-op came in. She then moved to apologize to me, but saying that I annoy her greatly and that I don't realize how rudely I treat her and how much of a jerk I am. Now, correct me if i'm wrong, but apologies come with "I'm sorry", somewhere in them, not reminding me of how rude I am. I told her i'm like that to most people, which is somewhat true, but most people and me work past that and eventually become friends, and they accept that i'm weird, rude and off my rocker.

Anyhow, i'm really not to fond of the days when she and I have to work together, because it's awkward and if I say anything, it's considered rude. Other then her, i'm diggin the co-op very much. It's fun, and it's exactly the experience I need.

I'm heading off to bed since i'm tired and have nothing else to say, but if I remember correctly, this blog is now 1 year old, so happy one year to me! I'll do another post soon about the past year, but until then, be patient.

J-moose

Alive....Possibly

For now, we shall have to wait to see if J-moose still has it in him to write again. I apologize to anyone coming here, but my mind and me have parted ways. I still get ideas, but I never seem to write them out or do anything with them. But, i'm alive and kicking, so keep a look out for something new in the near future.

J-moose

Sex On Fire

Welcome Back Old Friend

Welcome Back Old Friend

I remember a person, quite like me. Someone who couldn't embrace, who they were meant to be. They took their time and went away, knowing that their heart wouldn't change. I wouldn't wait for a cold day again, when we sat out in the winters den. I pose a question, you give an answer, it's nice to see your still the same.

Welcome back old friend, it's nice to know you yet again. My face has changed and my sight is blurred, but to me your still the same. To me it's all the same. And I will run outside again, will you be joining me? My old friend is running home again, but only going to be alone. It's all the same, no matter where they go, happiness will always fade away.

W.

LMAO wow, I definitely think this is a shoe in for comedy of the year.

Till Now I Danced In Fear

Something just came into my mind, that I thought would be interesting to discuss. I'm going to make the assumption that all of you have a daily routine. Now if your anything like me, you get up around 6:50, or possibly earlier, to the sounds of an annonying alarm or your favourite radio station. Personally, I wake up to my ipod every morning. Each day I wake up to the same song, mainly because it's my all-time favourite, but tomorrow i'm thinking otherwise. You see, the song I wake up to is a very sad song. It talks about what it would be like if one day you turned your head and everything was gone, or if your gone would everyone care? It's one of those songs that makes you be happy with what you've got, even if it's very depressing. Back to the point, the way I see it is that maybe if I changed my wake up song, maybe it could change the outline of my day. Problem being is, that all my slow and soft songs make me cringe in the mornings. The reason i've held onto my favourite one for so long, is because it keeps me in check (Not mentally crazy if your just reading for the first time), keep my perspective on life in check.

So tomorrow i'm going to wake up to something different. Maybe it'll change how my day plays out. Maybe it will change my outlook on something. Maybe i'll listen to a line that I never bothered with before, that could ultimately give me a new perspective on life. I'll post tomorrow, hopefully, and let you all know what happens.

Ambition's a tricky thing. It's like riding a unicycle over a dental floss tightrope, over a wilderness of razorblades - Matthew Good - 21st Century Living

I'm A Troublemaker

I'm gonna make this short but simple. Listen to me when I say this. Yes, sometimes I get bummed out that i'm not out on friday or saturday nights partying it up with people, getting drunk off my arse (not so much that part). And yes, I get bummed out that i'm not out on a date with some girl on friday or saturday night. Let me tell you something though. I honestly don't care. My mother and I had a brief chat about my social life before she trotted off to bed, and it bugs her that i'm not doing either of these things. She said that she would be out with her boyfriend on friday nights or out with her friends doing whatever.

Let's get something straight. I am not, will not, and will hopefully never be my mother. Don't get me wrong, I love her to pieces and we're more alike than anyone else in my family, but hear me when I say this, I will never be like her, nor do I want to be. Not that there's anything wrong with her or being her, but i'd rather be myself than have to evolve into the person who's given me punishments for 18 years.

There are days when I wish I was someone else. Days when I really want to be one of those jerks you see getting drunk at the college party in movies. Then I think to myself, why the hell would I ever want that life? It's not glamorous, the thrills are cheap, and the excitment lasts for two hours, followed by a wake up call in some random place in who knows where, with no memorie of the past night. Appealing on the outside, but truly a misconception.

Laugh Like A Clown

No, I didn't drop off the face of the earth, just lost a little faith in what I was writing. The last few post have just been vids with a little blurb underneath them, and I do apologize for that. However, there's no reason why I can't come up with a perfectly decent blog. A fair few things have happened in the last little while, but i'm gonna keep this short since it would probably take to long to write everything, and you know me, i'm not much for a long-winded tale.

First, I finally got out of sporting goods, and am now an offical electronics associate. I kind of wish i'd transferred a little earlier though, since now all the people I enjoyed working with in there have gone off to university. Taylor, Omar and Shelby are still there, so thats one bright spot, but i'm not really that big on our new people. One of thems a friend of Shelby's so I'm choosing not to say anything about him, but from what i've seen, although I hate to base an opinion on straight opinion, he's your average go out and get drunk/stoned friday and saturday night kind of guy. The other ones are decent, but none of them will ever live up to Paul and J-Rod.

I've also begun my co-op at cable 14 in hamilton. I'm enjoying it thus far, but it gets really repetitive really quickly. In fact all we do after we've set up the camera's and mics, is sit around and wait for the show to start. We did bingo tonight, so I was kept on my toes since I do graphics for it. Graphics for this show is, highlighting the numbers before the host calls them out, and then typing them in the top right corner so that when it's called out, I push enter and it appears on screen. I know, it's a little weird to explain on here, but if you ever watch tv bingo, you'll see what I mean. It requires my full attention since I have to have the number highlighted and written before its called so that when the host says it, I put up it quickly and move to the next number. The best part about this place is that on alternating wednesdays they don't have a show, so more often then not, I won't be needed, meaning I finish my school day at 9:35!!! Pretty sweet huh? Also, I don't go on fridays since there's never a show, and my producer and director don't work, which is good for me, since if I wanted to keep my job at wal-mart, I needed to work at least 3 days a week. So yes, sometimes I have a 3 day school week. As fun as it sounds, I kind of wish I didn't.

Being home during the day kind of sucks. There's nothing to do, no one is ever on msn or facebook, although its not as if I talk to people when they are online, then again, most people don't talk to me. In fact, I wanted to, I could probably get rid of 96% of the people on my msn list, since i'm never going to talk to them...ever. For example, out of the people from my graduating class at BT, I can actually count on one hand who I still talk to, be it on msn or in person. Although, I only talk to one over msn, since the others grew out of it.

Sigh....I'm lonely. I just wish I hadn't fucked around with my school work last year. Maybe then I'd be somewhere far away from here, not writing about how bored I am....no wait, I probably would be, since I have no social skills, I wouldn't make new friends, thus condeming me to a life of solitude.....elementary school all over again. I know, your probably thinking, wow this kid is really lame. He complains about everything and has no reason to. You have me there. I think it's sad that I can admit to my own problems, but never fix them.

And he laughed like a clown, at something that wasn't funny, but in his mind, it made the world seem a little brighter, if not happier for a brief moment in his bleak but acceptable life.

J-moose

PICCOLO!!

A shiny silver dollar to the man who guesses the identity of this white faced creature. Here's a hint, his name starts with a P, and he's from one of the greatest anime franchises of all time. Oh and he was originally green before hollywood fucked him.

WHO THE FUCK DECIDED THAT PICCOLO SHOULD BE A WHITE VAMPIRE?!?!?! FUCK!!!!! DAMN YOU HOLLYWOOD.

Edit 16/09/08: So what i've been hearing from people all over the net is that this is what piccolo will look like before he uses the dragonballs to restore his youth. With that being said, there's still a good chance he's going to be green and have his turban...well not so much the turban, but i can dream. Plus, james marsters has continually said that he's green, bald and has pointed ears, so if the actor playing piccolo says he's green, then i'm gonna believe him.

Jack Black Is Dead

LMAO Why do us Canadians never get to see this stuff? Oh right, because muchmusic only recently got their licensing back to show stuff from mtv. Stupid muchmusic, can't you see that mtv clearly has better programming.

Drunk On Aluminum

Let's not all jump in at once with blog ideas kids. My life is actually quite boring. Really. All i've done for the past month is get up, go to work, come home and then sleep. On the two days i don't work, I get up, sit at the computer for a few hours, go outside and walk around town, then come home and pretty much spend the night in my room. Yes, the sad unfortunate fact is that this is what i'm pretty much doomed to to repeat this process even when school begins. Everyones going to be off at university so they:

A) Will have much more work than I

B) Still maintain their part time jobs to take up another chunk of time

And C) Spend their remaining few minutes with their significant other.

Wait....some how I think i've written this exact same post before..well maybe not exactly word for word, but the general idea. Even when something exciting does happen to me, it lasts only briefly. For example, last sunday I had to break into my house. My family decided to go to the States for the day while I was at work and they locked all the doors, including the garage door which is how I usually get in. But no, I had to go find a ladder, place it on our deck, climb onto the roof, slide into my sisters room and then walk downstairs to shut off the alarm. After that, there's nothing else to keep the adrenaline going.

Works been pretty shitty lately with me ready to kill every member of our management team. I got written up for something I don't even remember doing, my new department manager has a certain dislike for me, and has the fucking nerve to tell me all the things i'm doing wrong, but then is never in the department when I need her help or have questions to improve my work with. No, no, instead she goes along with her merry day doing diddly squat, and then I get in shit for not having the department looking decent. Plus, no one on management has the guts to tell her off, but instead they whine and complain that the department modulars (moving things into new homes and shifting the department around completely) are still not completed. Nope, to them, starting mods 20 days after they were supposed to be done, doesn't deserve punishment at all. Of course not, because if it did, my department manager wouldn't be on her SECOND vacation. Hmm, she already had 2 weeks off, but now she gets a third week, during her department mods, causing almost everyone in the surrounding departments to have to help out and do them for her. I hate Wal-mart. Oh and another thing that proves how much management hates me, and Jordan. We were both scheduled in for day shifts this week to help with mods. The second that Roxanne, one of the many assistant managers, heard a maintenance page, she told me and Jordan to head outside to bring in buggies, which lasted for around half of both our shifts. Then when we finally got back inside, Roxanne told us to just clean the department up a bit.....every two minutes. She actually came up to me numerous times over a course of 7 minutes, asking "what are you doing?" or "what are you up to?" and many other variations. Even when i'm working hard, she tells me that I need to work faster because I need to get more accomplished for the department. AHHHHH!!! I've even tried to transfer to the electronics department so I won't have to put up with management so much, since they avoid the department like the black plague, for some unknown reason. No, even that won't happen. The personnal manager told me that, they've already hired one person for the department, while another was being interviewed. She then told me that the only way I could get out was if one of our full time associates dropped down to part time and transfered into my current department, allowing for me to switch out. The reason I can't switch out is because my department doesn't have enough people in it, but we can't hire more because we apparently have enough. Yet for some reason, no one ever closes the department at night and then I get blamed for it looking messy when I come in the next day...

Sorry guys and gals, I don't mean to rant like this, but i'm just really P'oed about it. Anyways, i'm sure i'll be posting more recently as school will be starting again next week and I know that even without my friends there, i'm sure i'm going to be part of someones drama.

J-moose/Jamie

Make A Mind Feel Mushy

You know, the strangest things keep occuring in my mind. It's as if i'm trying to tell myself something, but it keeps getting cut off by something else. Not something less significant, but, a blockade as one might say. A message that can't be read, heard, written out, or known in any way. Kind of makes me wonder what it might be about. Maybe something i've known for a long time that is choosing to manifest itself now, but keeps getting blocked by, weird lyrics and music in my head.

It's so weird, my mind keeps playing little riffs over and over in it, as if the music i'm creating is the message. The songs are what I seem to think are blocking what I want to hear, but it could be vice versa, where the songs are the message and are blocking something that could hurt me. Odd, I know, but somehow I don't doubt it. To me it makes sense. All these notes seem to flow seemlesly into the next as if it's telling me to pick up my guitar and make them real. But how do you do that? My fingers and me don't get along when I pick up my guitar. I like playing it, but I feel like i'm missing something when I play. I can start on one song, then 5 seconds later i'll lose interest and move into a completely different song that requires me to tune my guitar down or find a capo to use on it, which i've apparently lost. Challenges of the mind. Words and sounds that make a young man squirm.

J-moose

Vancouver National Anthem

That's it isn't it? How i'm going to be for God knows how long. And when I say God knows, I literally mean God only knows. I guess i'm getting kind of antsy in the relationship department again. Yes, I know, i'll find someone when the time is right, but somehow i'm thinking that day isn't coming for a long time, mainly because of something I asked for when me and Meghan finally stopped trying for one another. Wow, now that I think about it, that was a while back, at least a year now. In fact Meghans found a new love and I couldn't be happier for her. We're still friends, although not as close as we once were, but then again that will never happen. Too many changes in both of us. Not that it's a bad thing, but from grade 9 - 12 both of us have become way too different to become as close friends as we were at one point.

It's odd. Lately i've found myself slipping into the person I was before I became J-moose. Just plane Jamie. Weird, i've never said my real name on here before yet now it seems like my name and all of the past experiences that go along with it, are trying to come out once more. The past is once of those things i've never dwelled on all that much, but I do accept that it's there. J-moose and Jamie, two entities in one person. If we counted my real name, James, I go by Jamie since I like it more, there'd be 3. James however is too, how should I put this...to formal. Really that name only comes out when someone is yelling at me, so I guess considering him a part of Jamie is what i'll have to do.

Back to what I was saying. Two entities, one body. Now, I know what your thinking, this kid's off his rocker, making an assumption such as having multiple personalities. Wrong-o. I don't have that, nor will I ever. The best way to explain this is kind of like Harvey Two-Face from batman. On the one side you have is clean regular old face, someone who looks trust worthy and caring. On the other you have the scarred face that represents evil, corruption, and in some weird way, power over the weak. Jamie would be this side, just as J-moose would be the other.

Odd that i'm thinking about my past, since it was my horoscope that brought it up. However, it told me that it would hurt when I thought about it. It's not so much of hurt, as it is acceptance. Maybe to fully let J-moose move on, Jamie has to accomplish one final task. Problem being, Jamie is something I gave up being, and letting myself slip back into that would prove challenging, yet it appeals to me in a way most possessions can't.

Maybe once more....

J-moose

..or Jamie?

ps. The dates on blogger get messed up so it'll probably say that I posted this at least 4 days ago. Not true. The current date is August 11th 2008.

Curiosity Made Us Different

We're Cracked Up On The Good Life And We're Not About To Learn Anything But It

-

-

We search through the stars for a light to guide us somewhere, to something no one understands. Step underneath your ignorance, become the one you hate, you'll earn respect quicker that way.

It's nice to see people won't change unless you give them everything they hate. Everyones a sucker for the life they don't own. Imagine that, you wanna be like them, blinded by stupidty, popularity ain't worth the longevity.

Now we're homeless, we're not a concern anymore. The world is still spinning, the lights are still dimming, but we won't be around to see it happen..at least not in their eyes.

Teen Celebrities Are Really Pathetic

As you all know, i've never been one to take shots at celebrities. I do however like to watch them take shots at one another, and really who could do that better than teen celebs. To be more acurate, female teen celebs. Now I don't care much for Miley Cyrus, but lately making fun of her just seems so much easier than it has been in the past few months. There were the "racy" photos of her on the net, but really she could save herself the grief from that by saying that she was being a 15 year old girl and didn't know better. Come on, her dad freaking wrote "achy breaky heart" so really, can she actually have any morals when it comes to love? Not in my books. And what would a teen celeb be without their youtube page. I mean, I don't have one, but I can the obsession of carrying around a camera, or being on webcam constantly. I mean, it's like the complete opposite of tv, she can say what she wants, put on as much makeup and look like a total skank if she wants, and she cause a cat fight with other teen celebs, all by youtube. What a great site. I just used it to watch movie trailers and old episodes of digimon, but damn now I just can't wait for the next Miley and Mandy show. People you don't know what your missing here. Oh and to counter Miley and Mandy, we have the less known, less loved, Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez. Much like Miley they decided to make their own youtube channel and make their own craptacular videos. Now I am just waiting for the retaliation on this.

*edit... Me and html code don't get along so i'll give you the links instead.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhGEO9XDmis - watch this first
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7t_t6gRFe8



Now tell me this isn't asking for a teen war? Silly teen celebrities, fame is for those who can act. Did you see that? The spoof of The trix rabbit. See I can be funny.



J-moose

What Doesn't Kill You, Simply Makes You Stranger

Don't worry people i'm still alive, i've just been doing....well nothing actually but the nothingness really keeps me bored and uninspired so thats one reason why I haven't been writing. However, enough has accumulated in the past little while that I figured it was time to write once more. Well I knew this day would come eventually but I didn't think it would happen so soon. I'm quitting Walmart. The store has gone downhill quite a lot in the past little while and with the lastest stunt I figured it was time to find a new part time job. In the last month or so my old manager, Darren, or as he's referred to in here, Stupid Moron, got switched to a new SWAS( a SWAS is a certain group of departments that one of the many assistant managers is in charge of). Of course this meant i'd be getting a new manager since he was gone. Enter Roxanne. Now by no means is she worse then Darren, but really she's not much better. Her first act as manager was to book me in on my not available days forcing me to leave my little bubble inside my home. Not cool. (Yes, i'm lazy and i've come to accept this fact). Secondly, somehow she got a hold on my availability change for the summer, which i'm positive I never handed in, and put that into effect. Now really the second one wouldn't be so bad if I actually got hours!!! Next weekend I have two shifts, one being five and a half hours, the other being six and a half hours. Now, I know it's not much to ask, but when I work on weekends, I expect two 8 hour shifts, be it a 8:00 am or anytime after that. Really, I mean thats what i've got for the past 2 years, so whats the harm in keeping with that. Oh, but wait, this wouldn't be a real story if I didn't get screwed over even more. I am no longer J-moose from toys, but now I shall be known as J-MOOSE FROM SPORTING GOODS!....Add sarcasm here to show just how much I hate this. A few weeks back Roxanne and Darren called me to the back and said they had to talk to me. At first I had hoped I was getting fired, but no. Instead, they ask me if I want to move to sporting goods, while giving me the "move or be fired looks". I was kind of hoping they were giving me a raise since, according to them i'm such a good worker and i'm an asset to the walmart team, or at least thats what they keep telling me.

Also, The Dark Knight is possibly my new favourite film. I was already a huge batman fan but now, I think if I could, I would want to live in Gotham City. Yes, nerd alert.

Wow, i've only begun to realize how long its taken me to get a new post going on here. So, in light of me finally writing once more, I figure I should do what I do best..Write about the music i'm diggin.

There hasn't been too much lately, but i've found a few gems in the rough:

1. Sloan - Believe In me, Album: Parallel Play - The year wouldn't be complete if Sloan didn't make their glorious come back, and damn what a come back it is. Of course it's not the come back that'll make them as popular as they once were, but we take what we can get, and so far the helpings have been gracious. Believe In Me is probably the closest thing that sounds similar to the old Sloan stuff like, "Losing California" or "People of the Sky". No, it's not the feel good song of the summer, but it definitely beats out the last song I heard from them "Who Taught You To Live Like That".

2. Against Me - Stop!, Album: New Wave - I'm not gonna lie, I didn't really pay attention to this band until I heard this track. However, when I finally listened, I was brought a catchy punk track, which made me rush out and by the album its on. Although the song is short, it delivers, which is all that one can ever ask for.

3. MGMT - Time To Pretend, Album: Oracular Spectactular - I just like the keyboard riff....it's cool.

Ok so there isn't much but we have lots to look forward too! Although the track listing has been announced and the album title, Matthew Good will make us wait for his next album for at least another year. Good's calling this one "Vancouver" . Apparently it's going to be about how the city has changed over the years and not for the better. Should be interesting. Also we can expect the new Rise Against album in March. No lead single has been announced yet, but the title is going to be "Appeal To Reason".

Alright, I know it's not what I could be writing, but really if nothing interesting happens, i've got nothing to say. Hopefully the next time we meet, i'll have some decent things to write about.

J-Moose

Sometimes The Light Is All That You Need

The Light

Last night, the dawn came into sight. And the tide rolled on, inside my mind, with open arms i dove deep inside. Even the best days hurt sometimes, even the songs that make you smile, will hide. All you hear, and all you see, is just apart of memories. When the light fades out, when the cards thrown down, will you remember, what we told you?

This is life, and it's part of growing up. It's part of every step you take, it's part of every friend you make. Don't think that we're not watching, don't think that we don't care. When times get hard, you know that we're there, just stop and stare at the lights.

Stop!

Possibly my new favourite song.

Time To Pretend

These last few days have been increadibly boring. No wait, I mean since the night of the grad dance it's been boring around here. In fact I pretty much haven't talked to anybody since that point and time, although I have chatted with Kayleen quite frequently, up to the point where we decided to hang out for a few hours last friday. We ended up going to these two waterwalls which was pretty cool. I think we stayed at the second one for over an hour just talking which I rarely get to do with anyone. It's odd, i'm not increadibly close with her, but lately i've talked to her more than my best friends. Then again, Felicia and Giacomo were away for a little while, up in Tobermory with some of the other grads, something which they tried to keep a secret from me until one of the other people going sent me and e-mail by "accident" with a list of people going and parents driving them there. The moment I saw it I knew what it was about, and I kind of felt hurt that Felicia and Giacomo choose not to tell me. Yes, I understand that they didn't want me to feel left out/hurt since I wasn't invited, but really I was more hurt at the fact that they kept it a secret and probably would have told me only if i'd asked or called one of them when they weren't at home only to be informed that they were gone for the week with people that used to be my friends. I probably should have mentioned this before but the people who organized the trip were the people that I used to call friends. Another point as to why F&G wouldn't have wanted to inform me, seeing as how I can't stand these people in more than small doses. Take grad for example, Helena and Michelle decided that since it was the last oppurtunity to see me, they just had to have a picture with me. Naturally I dispise being in most photos, and tried to worm my way out of this one, but of course I gave in and did it. I expected it to be posted on facebook, but I haven't seen it yet, so i'm hoping that it never reaches the masses.

Why is it that when you want to tell people how you truly feel, the words just never seem to come out properly? Not just in dating, although this will end up on that topic, but in everything. For months i've wanted to go out and just yell whatevers on my mind at the top of my lungs, somewhere no one can hear me. No matter how much time there is in a day, i'll never find that place of silence, waiting to be broken by the intrusion of a teenagers lament. Everything just kind of seems to come to a halt in the summer. We all have one of those big pause buttons that we hit the moment summer begins, and until the last few days of freedom, that play button that we've kept hidden for two months begins to glow again. That's when it really dawns on everyone, that time is going to resume itself, even if we don't hit that play button, someone else will. As we get older that pause button begins to fade and those two month breaks become one month vacations, and even those slowly decrease until the point where it's non-stop action and no one realizes it. For years i've always sat out on the sidelines, never once offering to stand in for someone, only getting up to catch those who fall, then sitting back down as they resume their daily activities. Wow, I completely went off topic there. Where the heck did feelings bit go to? How the heck does this always manage to happen? I'll be talking about one thing, then 10 lines later I notice that i've gone off topic and onto something completely different. All thoughts aside, I will take this oppurtunity to wish my dear friend Kayleen a happy birthday. You have a beautiful soul, a big heart, and you are one of the most amazing girls i've ever met. Don't ever change.

J-moose

It's Like The Night Is Taking Sides

City and Colour - Sleeping Sickness

Ok so as many of you know, Dallas Green is very talented be it with Alexisonfire or with C&C but this music video makes me nauscious. Now don't get me wrong, the song is probably my favourite off the "Bring Me Your Love" album, but the vid had so much more potential. My biggest grief however is the non-existence of a man by the name of Gord Downey. Wait, I shouldn't say that, since he makes a brief, and I mean brief, appearance where his lips barely move and you can't be too sure if he's singing or sleep talking. Oh Gord Downey, I miss the days of "Bobcaygeon" and "Little Bones", please make another Tragically Hip album soon.

Hold Me In Your Arms

Hold Me In Your Arms

When we first began I made you a promise, one that i'll always keep. I said that I would hold you, even when your not there. My arms would always find you, and show you how I care. You told me I was crazy, but to me it's all the same. I'll still hold you, even if your not game. Days will pass and nights will fall, and when your all alone, my arms will be your guiding lights, to lead you right back home. Each day is something different, and I know to treat it with care. My one goal each day is to show you, just how much I care. If you cannot believe this, then you don't deserve to see, my arms are always open, but you clearly will never see. I say this because I love you, and to show much I care, I want you to feel special even when i'm not there. People always tell me that no one ever cares. No one ever listens and takes the time to say "i'm here to always help, I will never turn away". To turn away is not my path, i'm here to stay. I will always hold you, with each passing day.

J-moose

Everybody's Changing And I Don't Feel The Same

So I might fail grade 12. Yeah, i'm ashamed, and truthfully i've cried a fair few times about it now. I'm sure most of you know why I might fail, but for those not at my school i'll enlighten you. I failed grade 12 music. How? Well for startersI put no effort into the course and did none of the assignments and ultimately it came back to bite me in the ass. So with my last exam being written this past morning, I need to pass it to graduate. My teacher told me I would, but honestly I pretty much BS'd the entire thing so I wouldn't be suprised if I fail.

Update: I graduated.....but i shouldn't have. I didn't deserve to.

So tonight was our prom/grad dinner dance. As most people know, i'm not big on dances, and really this one was no different than any other one. Let me lay down the night for you. So I went to my friend Natasha's house for pictures and such before the dance. Her and my friend Sonja looked very beautiful, so me showing up with two girls was already looking like a positive side to the night. Natasha's uncle drove us in his vintage 78 impala, which was pretty sweet with the wind blowing in my face. Now when we got there of course people were already doing the photo thing. One, I do not like photo's, and two I hate every photo that i'm in because I look bad in them. For the sake of tonight I tried to ease up a bit, but people just don't let up with those camera's and I really didn't want to be in more than what was necessary. Now most people can be polite and eat what's put in front of them, but again i'm a picky eater and by picky I mean i eat perservatives and nothing but, so I pretty much ate bread and desert the whole night.

When I first got there they announced that there was someone taking requests for songs so naturally I was drawn to said person and of course requested two songs. One, apparitions by Matthew Good Band, and two, Disarm by Smashing Pumpkins. Now both of these are acoustic songs and personally I don't think it would have been a big deal to play them. What do you think we ended up with? The same shit that they play at every dance. The most popular rap, pop, hip hop and techno music, which is code for crap. I mean yeah, there's the odd rap song that is good, like anything from classified or kanye west, although he is a little whiner. Plus having to suffer through that " I kissed a girl song" was increadibly painful. So where do you think I ended up? At my table sitting there pondering why I even bothered to come and why people made such a big deal over this night.

The part that really ticked me off was that despite having so much repsect for their students the teachers still had to be the ones that make you feel bad. Naturally my eyes wandered around the dance floor and to the tables, where I happened to notice my english teacher and one other teacher staring at me. The teacher I didn't know gave me a little wave before pointing at me and turned to my english teacher, most likely asking, who is that and why is he sitting there by himself. Imagine how that's supposed to make you feel. I went through that with students for a long time and now teachers have the nerve to do it? What is wrong with people? Let's get one thing straight, I may not be the most outgoing person in the world, I may not be the most enthusiastic when it comes to school, but i'm a damn nice person. If I make fun of someone, I almost immeadiately say that i'm kidding and apologize, because I hate offending someone. For a teacher to have the nerve to do that just really pisses me off.

All in all, I can't say I didn't expect this to happen. I'm not outgoing so I wouldn't go up on the dance floor and not care if I looked like a moron, and I didn't ask anyone to come as my date so really it was kind of expected. Then again, effort is required to make anything happen, so this is also my fault for not trying. Ah well, at least I get another chance next year..

J-moose

Oblivion

The title of this blog is derived from a song of the same name by the band Wintersleep. I've been listening to it non-stop lately so I recommend checking it out.

First off, the delay in blogs isn't something I was expecting but none the less, we all make due with what we have. Let's get down to the nitty gritty. So sunday night the 2008 MMVA's took place. For those of you in America the MMVA's are like the MTV music video awards, except they take place outside and close down a good part of downtown Toronto for 4 days. I should note, MMVa stands for Muchmusic Video Awards. Now for the last few years the awards have been on a slight decline since Much was bought out by CTV globe media, and this year proves why we Much has taken a turn for the worse. I don't care much for presenters but really, did we have to bring in Brody Jenner? And for that matter why was Rain Wilson there? Don't get me wrong I love the Office, but him and unscripted comedy are like Angelina Jolie without her Botox injections. Not a pretty sight. The one thing that really upset me was the MuchLoud Best Rock Video. Now the nominees in this of course have to be a rock band right? WRONG! According to Much, Simple Plan is now classified as rock. Like hell they're rock. Here's a Simple Plan for ya Much, nominate people that actually make rock music. It's not hard. Even though The Trews and Illscarlett made it into the category it doesn't make it any better. MuchLoud is about Loud music, and bands that play hard rock, metal, and anything sub-genred within that. So really not one of the bands nominated deserved to win. As far as performances go, I can't really say I was all enthused. Simple Plan, Flo Rida, Girlicious, Sean Kingston, Ill Scarlett, Jabbawockez, Kardinal Offishal ft. Akon, and New Kids On The Block. Now there's something wrong with this picture...Oh yeah, the American acts outweigh the Canadian acts 5-3. This is a "Canadian" awards show, not Canada wants to see 80's boy bands relive their glory days. And really, NKOTB? When I heard they had a huge announcement performance wise I was expecting Coldplay, or The Offspring, or even Weezer (Even though the red album is supposed to suck, hearing them do "Pork and Beans" live would have been a treat), or even Madonna would have been nice. Instead we got Mark Whalbergs brother trying to be a pimp when really the word doesn't apply to him since it didn't in the 80's and nothing has changed in those 9 years he dropped off the face of the earth. As for Kardinal Offishal I was expecting a lot more. If I was to buy one Rap cd it would be something of his, because the dude knows how to make good music. With that in mind, it's expected that a live performance would only make his talents all that much better. We couldn't have been more wrong. First off Akon should probably have started singing when the track began and not 10 seconds after. Smooth Akon. I muted it after that point as watching a performance where the artist has to sing with the track playing in the background isn't worth my time. I'm too tired to keep remembering the negatives, but props to Wintersleep for winning the Videofact award. The video for Weighty Ghost has been on my Ipod for the last month and I can't get enough of it. Thats it for now kids, but i'll try to post again soon, and trust me i've got some stories, and their bound to be interesting reads.

J-moose

Party People

Now when I was younger, there were instances in my life that caused me to be antisocial. At age 10 I gave up trying to impress others with being someone i'm not and instead put on a new persona, someone who was constantly angry with the other children and just kept to himself. As I progressed in age I began to slowly lower my guard and come to trust certain others, but even still it took some work to really trust them. When grade 8 dawned upon me I came out of my little shell (0r big for those of you that know me), and decided i'd make myself noticed a bit more. I made a few friends, but I didn't trust them at all. By this point in time I had already become accustomed to thinking that regardless of who talked to me and regardless of what was said, I couldn't believe in them. There were times when I was wrong, and I admit that, but there were other times when I was right, and I knew that I was still the one being left our of all the fun. All the inside jokes, and all the hangouts that didn't include me took their toll on me, and even I became annoyed with myself when I asked what they were talking about. At age 18 it's nice to see nothing has really changed.

Let me explain, tonight I was invited to a suprise party for a friend named Stephanie, and it was going to be with a group of people that I had never hung out with, just known them vicariously. When I first got the invite I immeadiately thought of rejecting it because of how I imagined it would go. Me trying to awkwardly fit in, while they all have fun. Then again, i'm the anti-social one so really if I didn't have fun it would have been my own fault. Anyways I ended up deciding to go. Of course I wasn't supposed to since I hadn't cleaned my room but since my mother wasn't around and my father is oblivious to her nagging me, he brought me to the party.

So when I got there I pretty much knew who everyone was, so introductions weren't really necessarily. There was a good 20 minutes before the birthday girl showed up so I tried to be as social as possible, but being me I just kind of fiddled around with my ipod. Yes, I said fiddled, get over it. Ok, so eventually the birthday girl shows up and is shocked to see all her friends in her basement. I didn't really say all that much the entire night, mainly because I wouldn't have known what to. I did exchange a few words with Kayleen, Jenae and Tyler, but still I know that I could have talked to the others there. Ahh well, the way I see it is if I hadn't wanted to go I wouldn't have, but I needed to try something new and it was a good time even if I didn't say too much. That's all for now.

J-moose

Laughter Cures All

Wow, I never imagined James Franco as funny but there it is.

101 Just For Fun

I have a blog lurker named Kayleen. I just thought i'd share. If you see her, tell she's a little hyper from time to time.

Title Change And Blog 100!

As i'm sure you've all noticed by now, the blog title has changed. As to why this happened, there really isn't a reason, but honestly, I don't feel so broken anymore, so the title really doesn't apply. I'm going to try a whole slew of new titles that fit what kind of mindset i'm currently in, for now i'm sticking to the classic title of the amazing Matthew Good Band song, Hello Time Bomb. So anyone have any ideas for a new blog title? I mean I know this is probably something I should think of, but i'm open for suggestions. Hit me up with some comments and we'll see what happens.

J-moose

PS.

100 POSTS BABY!!! CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON!!!

Wow, i should take this chance to thank the people that make this blog possible..............J-MOOSE TAKES ALL THE CREDIT!!

I have a big ego..get over it

Paper Thin

Sometimes we all need a shoulder to rest on. I like when I get to be that shoulder for people. It's one of the better aspects of my life.

Paper Thin

This skin is not what it used to be, so frail yet beautiful to see. Eroded through the ages and changed for the worse, it's all you have left. Easily defiled and always take lightly, it's what you did that made it this way. You wrote too much about what could have been, for you this feels like a sin. Everything you do now, isn't for the masses, but instead for you alone.

Once more with the pencil, write your name down, take a seat. We're not here to help, but who's to know but me? Heaven isn't here, but your staying anyways. Scratching out your mistakes, it's just another lost face. Now write it again, what you thought could be, a fake reality where she belongs to me. It's nothing to look down, it's not as if your ashamed. Your papers blank, your minds still here, write out it kid, but don't expect things to change.

It's cold out again, but you get what you deserve. We're warm where your not. Simply put, you were forgot. We checked our lists and your name didn't fit. Look again though kid, at those in the light, they're paper like you, burning without a fight. Todays their due date, there's no turning back. Run while you kid, and promise to not look back.

If You Hate Whining, Don't Read This

I've always found it odd when people make a statment saying "I realize that the person I used to be is not the one I wanted to be". Coming from my mouth it's even odder since I used to always promise myself that I wouldn't become someone I hated. It's funny though, because for a brief moment in time I found myself being happy. Yes, a word that never used to enter my vocabulary, yet for a time that word finally had a meaning behind it. No, I don't know what caused the change in myself for that time, but honestly speaking I wish I knew, because right now I could really use it.

People tell me that I don't do well with change. Usually it's not a personal change that worries me, but when something drastic happens i'm left to deal in my own way and as far back as I can remember it's always been difficult. For example, the start of highschool. I put on this front that made me look like I didn't care that I was somewhere new, that this place and these people didn't matter to me, because I didn't intend to make friends with any of them. You know why I did that? Because I was scarred shitless. I can usually keep my composure in most situations but at that point in time I wasn't ready to meet new people as I had only just met the people i'd known for 8 years for the very first time. Again, change and me don't bode, and that hasn't changed. I'm using the word change/changed a lot. I'll try to stop.

Anyways, the point is, within the next month I have to go through a big change. Graduation. Yes, if I pass all my courses i'll graduate highschool. You see once that happens, i'm going to be alone, and for me I don't think I can handle that again. Elementary school was hard enough being the loner, not that I didn't mind it some days, but highshool is a different ball park. The game changes when you go there. I don't have many friends to begin with, and lately I feel like i'm losing them already, and it's my own fault. I wish didn't have classes with them. I'm lazy when it comes to school. In every group project i've done with Felicia i've managed to screw her over and not come through. Always make me wonder why she still talks to me since i'm not even worth it. Why do people keep giving me chances? After one, I don't want anymore.

Then there's the grad dance. I'm still in the process of debating whether I want to go or not. It's stupid that i'm thinking like this, because I know i'm going to end up going, and i've told other people who are doubting going that they have to, and it wouldn't be the same without them. Most of you know I don't dance nor do I have any rhythm what soever, but if I go i'd just sit at the table all night and watch everyone else have a good time. And really, what's the point of going if i'm doing that? Also, I need to fit into my grad outfit. I'm actually overweight. No say that i'm just big, because this is not the case. I'm fat people. Don't bother me with that hippy BS that i'm not, because it will make me punch you, and it will hurt. Plus, there's the whole date thing. First off, if one of you says just ask someone, again I will hurt you. I don't any single girls willing to go out with me! Not that going single is a bad thing, but it does make dancing with someone a whole lot harder if their boyfriend keeps trying to cut in.

You I find it kind of weird that people always tell me i'm such a nice guy and i'm going to make some girl happy one day, yet those that tell me that can't think of anyone who'd go out with me. Example, last weekend at work me and one of the girls in electronics get onto the topic of dating. She was like, i've never seen you talk about going out on dates and such. How come? and I was like, well I haven't really met anyone that'll go out with me. Her response was, oh don't worry, your a really nice guy so you'll find somone. First off, saying that doesn't make it better. That actually hurts more than it helps. Telling a guy that he's nice and that he'll find someone only hurts them because it makes them realize that they're still single and they don't have anyone. In all honesty, I know two single girls at bt and I highly doubt i'll be asking them out any time soon.

I've lost confidence in myself. Anyone know how to get it back?

J-moose

The Weekend

Time for a new blog! I know, your all so excited and yet at the same time you have no idea what i'm going to say. What if I decide to make fun of the people who read this? Then what happens huh? Do you start some rampage and come egg my house? Or do you continue reading at the expense of being made fun of? Quite the connundrum eh? Yes, Canadians say eh, so get over it.

Ok all jokes aside, we know I wouldn't make fun of anyone unless I had their permission to do so. It's just not right. Besides I keep getting told that i'm a nice person and I wouldn't want that changing anytime soon. Well since it's the long weekend here in Canada, I might as well talk about what i've been up to. Let's start with friday night. Now as most of you know I go to youth group on fridays because i'm cool like that. Of course thats always subject to change, especially when I get to go out with KRISTINA! Yes, friday night a bunch us went out and celebrated the birth of the beauty known as Kristina Graham. The night started out at Jack Astor's where I indulged myself in my usual meal of a cheeseburger (yes, I only eat burgers when I go out to dinner. Most people have come to terms with it. It's not subject to change anytime soon. I apologize to my future girlfriend and her family. My eating habbits aren't the best). It was fun to kind of just relax and not worry about work and school for 5 minutes. As for a gift, well I can't really say i've changed much in that area. I've gotten everyone the same thing for the last 2 years. A card and 20$. I'm cheap. It was funny though, seeing the girls come in with their gifts in these nice bags, while the guys (excluding Eric) just had cards with 20's in them. Anyways, after dinner we ventured to Sobeys for a few minutes to see our friend Ashley. My friend Felicia works there as well and I kind of just talked to her while the others went to see Ashely. After that we went to Kristina's house for cake and movies. We watched Wedding Daze starring Jason biggs (the dude from American Pie) and that crazy chick from Wedding Crashers. It was pretty decent for a direct to home movie, although we had fun picking apart the scenes where the outfits change in a series of seconds yet they're still in the exact same place. Then I had to suck it up and be a man and watch a horror film called Untraceable. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but still I prefer a comedy or action flick any day.

So that was friday and it was pretty freaking awesome. Let's move on to saturday. Of course I had to work so that took up a good chunk of my day. After I got home at around 6:30 I changed and went on msn to see who was around. Within about two seconds of coming online Kayleen was talking to me, telling me that her brother and his friends were going through her room. We chatted for about an hour before we both realized that we had stuff to go do in town. She had to go to dollarama to pick some stuff up and I had been planning on renting a game for my wii (for those interested I rented Okami, and it's pretty freaking awesome). So we decided to kind of meet in town. I biked down to rogers rented my game and was about to head over to dollarama before I realized that I had no cash left on me. I dashed over to TD and took out a twenty. Now as I was doing this I heard this weird singing coming from what I thought was the ATM. My first thought was, "Cool these things play music now! I've gotta come here more often". Then I quickly realised that it was my phone and it was Kayleen trying to call me. After figuring out where I was she came over in her car and we decided to go for a drive around Ancaster. Of course before this happened we spent a good 10 minutes trying to figure out how to fit my bike in her car. After that fun we pretty much ended up driving into Hamilton after both of us yelling at one another "Where do you wanna go?" for 20 minutes because we had no idea what we wanted to do. After a while we ended up back in Ancaster and decided to sit and chat in Tim Hortons. It was great to just talk to her. She's one of the most amazing girls i've met in some time. The cool thing about her is, she pretty much feels the same about the dating world as I do. She's sort of got a bf right now, but she's trying to break it off. I keep telling her that she's already met her special someone and that he's just waiting for her to realize that he's there. She's a little skeptical about it, but I know she has. A great person like her, there's no way she hasn't. Sorry, i'm getting a little carried away here. Anyways, after we finished our hot chocolates she drove me home ( I should mention that she's younger than me and already has her G2. Shows how lazy I am at learning to drive).All in all it was a fun night.

That's pretty much what happened Fri and Sat. As for Sunday and Monday, i've fallen back into my routine of doing nothing, although i've been playing my Wii a bit. Anyways, thats it for now.

J-moose

Blush

This is just something a friend wrote about me, and I was blushing when I read it.

"My new friend J is lost somewhere in the dating game as well. I met him in New York City when we went with the choir and band this past April (well, technically I knew him before then, but I never really talked to him). He is a really cool guy, on the bus ride home we discovered that we were both equally hostile towards dating. To tell you the truth, I admire J because he isn't one of those guys who will just date somebody for the sake of dating somebody. He has been single for awhile now, yet he still believes that there is somebody out there for everyone. I think that is so awesome that he doesn't give up, and I am convinced that he will find somebody soon because of his supreme coolness, there aren't too many guys out there like him :D."

It's Unpredictable But Really That's What Love's About

Good day people! Yes i'm back and i've actually got something on my mind and usually thats what makes me continue to write my blog. So friday night I usually go to my youthgroup as most of you know and I have a damn good time going. There's great people there and they all want to get closer to God which is what I want as well. However there are certain things that they believe which I don't agree with. Not religion related but rather dating world related.

So let me set the picture. We did a photo hunt on friday night so we got to go all around hamilton taking photos of the most random things and making random poses and such, and it was quite fun (although at one point I thought a police officer was going to yell at us). Any ways, I was driving with our one leader Mark and his fiance Jen, and two other teens on photo team. When we had finished up the night we headed back to our meeting place for parents to come pick up the kids and what not. Our team made a small detour to drop off Jen at her house. When Jen left we all noticed that Mark didn't kiss her goodnight, which I found a little odd but then again it's their relationship and they hand P.D.A's however they want. Here's the kicker as we're pulling out of the driveway he begins to explain why he didn't. He said that it was because that once he started he wouldn't want to stop. He wouldn't want to let go. I can understand that since i've seen how Giacomo and Felicia say goodbye and it takes freaking forever sometimes. No offense to them but I have shit to do and I don't like to wait. No patience what so ever. Sorry, let's get back on topic. Mark then went on to say to the other girl in our car, Jessie, that she would find someone and that she wouldn't want to let go of. Then Mark asked her if she liked anyone, to which she made the perfect grade 10 response of "boys suck". Not that I expected anything different. Mark then said that it was good that she didn't have anyone and that guys shouldn't be of concern until she's 18 or 19. You can imagine that by this time I had a few words floating around in my head but I kept them to myself mainly because I hate to overstep my boundries.

Jessie then said that she might not find somebody to which I had to respond to by saying "there's someone out there for everyone". Mark immeadiately responded with, "thats not true. I know tons of people that are older that don't have anyone special". Thats where we parted ways on the this thing we call love. I'm a firm believer in that there's someone out there for everyone, no matter who they are, what they look like or what they've done. How can their not be? I mean if God hadn't intended to make a significant other for everyone then why are their so many people on this earth? That wouldn't make sense. I mean I know that it seems reasonable that not everyone may find someone but if you talk like that then the chances that you would have are cut in half and then your left with nothing. You go through life lonely and scarred. Look at me, single for the last year and a bit now, and I know that there's a girl out there for me. She may not be here at the moment but she eventually will walk into my life and when she does i'll know. Then again, on the other hand she might already be in my life and I just don't know it.

Me and my friend kayleen were talking earlier about this topic and we both feel the same about dating. The exception for Kayleen is that she's got a boyfriend (they've only been together a week) and for the moment she's got her special someone. Her fear however is that she can't let him and, which is understandble because it's hard to do that in any relationship. She also said that it felt like he was expecting them to be together forever already which isn't something she wants to think about in highschool. Of course she asked me if I had anyone special in my heart at the moment which I politley said no to. She was quick to remind me that my special someone could already be here waiting for me. I had a little laugh because I know this could be true. What made it better was that she told me that I was a great guy and that i'll make some girl happy one day, so at least I know when I re-enter the dating game i'll be decent at it this time around. Of course I told her that life is unpredictable and that you just never know. Plus with that logic it could mean that at one point in time I could end up dating her or whoever. Another thing we agreed upon. The future....something that's been on my mind for a while now. But that is a blog for another time, and with that in mind I must say my farwells for now.

J-moose

Reason 101 Of Why Matthew Good is Still The Greatest Musician Around

Guitar Players Cry

This pen of mine doens't write anymore. It's used up all it's ink. The papers on my desk don't fill up like they used to. My mind is so blank and i'll never know why. Those words I wrote were the last ones, my life, my body, my blood. What I used to say doesn't work anymore and it's not that I want to stop. But when you've reached your breaking point, you fall down from the top.

And it's creeping back to me these chords that I don't want to see. They don't fit these words anymore and they never will. It's like i've lost my ability to speak, and it's never coming back. My words are gone and this pen stays dry and i'm just a lonely guitar player and this is my cry.

My guitar sits in the shadows now it's not a piece of me. It's when I look back that my mind still wonders to those 6 little blunders, the A, the B, The C, The D, the E, the F or the G. I'm tired, i'm lonely and i'm feeling so low, and these notes aren't helping so i wish they'd just go. Over the top i'm just a musical flop and a sell out to corporate flair. I'm not what I seem i'm cool but not clean these eyes are meant to stare.

And it's creeping back to me these chords that I don't want to see. They don't fit these words anymore and they never will. It's like i've lost my ability to speak, and it's never coming back. My words are gone and this pen stays dry and i'm just a lonely guitar player and this is my cry.

Something i wrote about losing your inspiration. I haven't had any new ideas flow into me for a while. And I apologize for that.

J-moose

A Friendship For The Ages

Lately i've been thinking about someone who rarely crosses my mind anymore. An old friend, that i've unfortunately lost touch with. It's sad, because the friendship that we had shaped me to become the person you have all come to know, so it was difficult to realise that I could no longer turn to this person in my times of need.


Let me begin from the top....a few weeks before my 10th birthday, my family informed us that we would be going skiing with the family of one of my mothers co-workers. They had been planning this out for a while now, and to my dismay I had to be social, because the other family had a son my age. The real kicker for me, was that this trip was happening on my birthday so again, another reason for me to not like this kid, or his family. A week prior to the trip the other family came over for coffee and dessert, which served as a chance for the kids to fraternize and get to know one another. If I remember correctly, my first impression of Nick Jeffrey was that he was an annonying little brat, who was completely oblivious to video games, cartoons, and all the fun things a 1o year old enjoyed. I made the most of the night and figured this kid to be decent enough to play with on the trip. One week later we shipped off to the Jeffrey's cabin and began our weekend long adventure. To me, it wasn't all that fun, but then again, when have I ever been known to have fun at any social event.


Alright, lets skip ahead a few months. So finally Nick got a gameboy and the very first pokemon game, Pokemon Blue. Being the kid he was, he'd never as much as touched a gameboy muchless played a video game. So he should he call to ask how to get past all the dangers of the pokemon world...Me. At age 10 I prided myself in being better than others so whenever I got the oppurtunity to show off I took it. We began conversing over the phone, me explaining what a pokemon was, and how to play, and him gasping in excitement. Not to say I didn't enjoy showing him up, but it got pretty annonying after a while. Skip ahead another month or so. Me and Nick had scarcely seen one another, and in the times we did hang out, I pretty much bored him to death by not wanting to do anything that involved physical activity. Oddly enough, I began to trust Nick a bit more, and eventually we began chilling almost every weekend. A few years down the road, probably at age 12 0r 13, Nick had a problem with his heart. He needed surgery to correct it, and when i found out i was pretty upset. The operation was a success but it changed Nick into a completely different person. It was like a complete 360 for the guy. Now instead of me being the leader in our duo, Nick began to take charge. He began losing weight, and playing waterpolo, which I eventually got drafted into as well. It was weird seeing him like this because I was so used to having the old Nick. Then again, the new Nick was just the kind of kid I needed to hang around with.

Nick became one of the most popular guys at his high school and pretty much knew any and everyone in all the grades. Of course I was intrigued in hearing about his tales of how was getting invited to all these different social events and how he made out with this girl in this grade. Usually those thoughts didn't cross my mind, but when Nick talked about them, it was like nothing else seemed to matter. Of course out of the two of us, Nick was the one who began going out on dates with some of the most attractive girls i've ever met, so my jealousy levels were at their max. It was odd, because despite the fact that he had all these new found friends, he still managed to call me up at least twice a week just to chat. Even the popular guys need their advice and I was happy enough to give it.


It's been almost half a year since I last saw Nick, and i'm saddened that our friendship came to such an abrubt halt, but at least I know he's doing good. My mom occassionally talks to his mom, so i'll usually be able to find out how he's doing. I've been thinking about him a lot lately so that's why I choose to write about our friendship. Everything we did is only a memory now, and here I thought i'd had the best man for my wedding already. It's weird thinking about the friends that we once had. It's even weirder since next year i'm starting the friend making process all over again, since i'll only have one friend at BT and that will only help me so much. Until next time..which will be soon, I promise!



J-moose

Oh Music Lovers

I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Serisouly though, I apologize for the 2 week hiatus. I've had some things come up, and on top of that no inspiration. But with all this music making its way to the world, I figured it was time to get a new blog going. Let me begin by saying that i'm pretty sure this summer is going to be big music wise.

For starters you have Weezer!! Yes the loveable dorks make their triumphant return after much speculation that they were done after Make Believe (2006 album). They've been updating their site as frequently as possible with how the recording is going, what producer their using and so fourth and so on. Here's the scoop:

Album Title: Weezer. The third self titled album from these guys, but as weezer fans know, the album will have a background colour to it, and from whats being said, it'll be red. So Technically it will actually be called the red album.

First Single: Pork and Beans...Even I think they've gone a little loopy with the title for this one. Then again, the last album with a colour name, eg the blue and green albums, were pretty good, so who I am to judge without hearing it. An official release date for the song is currently unknown.

My View: All they really had to do for this one is make it better than Make Believe. If they did that, then I believe weezer fans everywhere will rejoice.

And of course, another album that many rock fans will rejoice over is the new one from The Offspring. Yes, the guys who brough you the classics such as, Self Esteem, Pretty Fly (For a White Guy), Hit that, and many others will return this summer with a new album.

First single: Apparently it's going to be called Hammerhead. The guys have played it at a few shows so fans have of course uploaded video feed to youtube for our viewing/listening pleasure. From what i've seen from most fans reaction, it's a step back into the original offspring sound, so hopefully it'll be good. Then again, the quality on these videos isn't that great, nor is the audio, so it's still up in the air at this point. As for an album name, there isn't one at this point, so again, it'll probably be announced in the near future.

For those of you who can bask in Jack White's musical greatness, then your in for a treat. Actually, the treat has been served in a fine packaging called Consolers of The Lonely. Yup, you guessed it, The Raconteurs return with their second studio album. I've gotta hand it to them, they know how to make a entrance. After a year of Jack doing his thing with The White Stripes, the band decided to record the new album. Now, in Jack Whites mind, recording should only take up two weeks of ones time, and writing shouldn't take that much longer. So keeping with tradition, the album was written and recorded in February and was finished only 3 weeks before it's release date. Here's the fun part....the guys did no promotion with this album what so ever. The album was announced on the 18th of march, and released a week after. My hat is off to you Jack White, not only do you continue to make kick ass music, but you've got a damn fine way of doing it.

First Single: Salute Your Salution. Well it's exactly what we've come to expect from Jack. It's a fairly fast paced song, with a catchy beat. Always a plus when it's catchy.

Finally, it's time for some Canadians!!!! So I said it before but i'll say it again, TOKYO POLICE CLUB!!!! Ok so if you remember a few blogs back I mentioned that their new single hadn't come out yet. Well it's now out there in all it's glory, and i'm thoroughly pumped for it. If you don't remember from before it's called Tessellate and it's from their first album, Elephant Shell due out at the end of the month.

Thats everything musical i'm digging at the moment, but always the side panel for anything else i'm liking. I'll post another blog soon, I promise.

J-moose

I Really Need To Make More Friends

....i'm in tears right now because I missed this on saturday.

"On a typical Saturday Night at the Air Canada Centre you'd find roughly 18,000 people wearing Leafs jerseys and chanting "Go Leafs Go!" but this past Saturday was slightly different. The Foo Fighters made their way into town to a sold out crowd of 20,000 plus and instead of seeing Leafs merchandise you saw Foo Fighters T-shirts and chants of "Foos Foos Foos".
Opening for the Foo Fighters were Against Me!. Having listened to their recent album New Wave for a couple of months, I was excited to see how they were live. Normally an opening band won't fill up the seats, but these guys had a huge following and filled up more than what I expected. They played for a good 45 minutes to an hour. They played a number of tracks from New Wave including Stop!, New Wave, Thrash Unreal, Borne On The FM Waves and more! Overall I thought they played a good show.
While waiting for the Foos to come on stage I noticed a long catwalk that connected the main stage to an unknown circular area. We all had no idea what that was for until later on in the show. Once the Foos hit the stage everyone and I mean everyone was standing! They opened the show with Let It Die from their latest album Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace. Then they followed it up with their smash The Pretender. Then Dave Grohl asked the crowd if they have been to a Foo Fighters concert, and a loud roar responded. Then he asked the crowd if this was their first Foo Fighters concert and another loud roar responded. Dave decided that the crowd was split 50-50 of newcomers and old-timers. He then assured us that this was going to be a special show. What was going to make this show special? Well for one the Toronto show has been the biggest the Foo Fighters have played in Canada, that they had some special guests, they were going to play some old shit, some new shit and some acoustic shit! From then on I knew it was going to be a great show!
They followed up Dave's speech with hit after hit including 'Times Like These, Break Out, This is A Call, Stacked Actors, Breakout, and Cheer Up Boys'. I guess Dave was right by playing older, heavier, foo fighters tracks.
After that set of tracks Dave, Nate, and Chris walked off stage leaving Taylor Hawkins to do his drum solo. After a couple of minutes of his drum solo Taylor introduces special guests of the night - Rush! RUSH! Alex Lifeson and Geddy Lee of Rush joined Taylor Hawkins on stage and jammed to Rush's hit YYZ. Once they fished jamming Dave comes on stage and yells 'RUSH! RUSH!' Mr. Grohl indeed came through with his promise of the show being a special one, and he wasn't done either!
As the crowd was going nuts because Rush were on stage I noticed that they started to uncover the circular area at the end of the catwalk. Still not know what it was the band started walking down the catwalk. As they are walking a second, smaller, stage emerges from the rafters! It's time for the Foos to play some acoustic shit!
They kicked off the acoustic set with Skin And Bones followed by Marigold. During the acoustic set Dave introduced everyone on stage and gave solo's to violinist Jessie Green and to percussionist Drew Hester who ended up performing a triangle solo! Then came My Hero. I am positive that every single body in that place was singing this song. It came to a point where Dave Grohl didn't have to sing, he encouraged all to sing and the crowd ended up taking over the vocals for the song. It was great! After that sing-a-long I knew that this was the best show I've been to and they were only half way through their entire set! Then came Taylor's turn to take lead vocals on Cold Day In The Sun, followed by But, Honestly and closing the acoustic set with Everlong. Another song that Mr. Grohl really didn't have to sing. He went to each of the mics on the second stage and sang to each side of the crowd! This guy knows how to work a crowd! Towards the end of the song it went from acoustic to electric and Dave ran along the catwalk and jumped back onto the main stage and rocked out to finish off the track!
Asking the crowd if they were done they ripped into Monkey Wrench followed by All My Life to finish up the concert. During the encore break the screens showed the band backstage with the set list, focused in on Dave putting yup a finger to indicate a single song encore. The crowd got loud when he put up two fingers and the crowd went crazy when Taylor stepped in the put up all ten fingers. Storming onto the stage to perform their encore Dave Grohl told us a story about his first trip in Toronto when he got to play drums for Iggy Pop as a 19 year old. Finishing off his story they started the encore with the 1996 hit Big Me followed by Long Road To Ruin and 'Best Of You' which were both huge singalongs!
If you were at the show, let me know what you thought of it.
Full Setlist:Let It Die
The Pretender
Times Like These
Breakout
Learn To Fly
Cheer Up Boys
This Is A Call
Stacked Actors
YYZ (f. Geddy Lee & Alex Lifeson of Rush)
Skin And Bones
Marigold
My Hero
Cold Day In The Sun
But, Honestly
Everlong
Monkey Wrench
All My Life
Encore:Big Me
Long Road To Ruin
Best Of You"

Courtesy of www.muchmusic.com

The Eyes Have It

You guys ever have those days when you feel like nothing is going your way? Well for me those days turned into a week, and that week has thankfully ended. It seemed like one tragic defeat after another. I got really bad on some assignments, and by bad I don't mean 60/70 I mean bad. On top of that, I just wasn't digging my appearance, I mean I know i'm never going to be buff or jock like, but last week just seemed to show off my gut more than usual. Lastly, I was supposed to go to a concert Saturday night, which I had been pumped for, for a while. And, low and behold, that didn't happen either, and now i'm stuck $120 in debt and two tickets sitting on my dresser with no place to go. Aside from that, I had this strange but interesting thought come into my brain on friday night. I was suprised that I thought about it when I did, mainly because I should have been occupied with the life stories of Rich Plante and Uncle Bobby, two guest speakers at my youth group. Not to say that I didn't take their stories to heart because they definitely had an effect on me, but this thought kept occupying my mind.

When you look at somone what is the first thing that runs through your mind? Usually, I wonder what is going through their mind. When I see their face, I can tell if somethings troubling them, or their happy and so fourth and so on. There's a whole list emotions that I can usually pick up on. For example, when I see Kristina's face I can see the joy that she's about to bring where ever she is. On friday night that kind of changed for me. I was listening to these two men talk about their lives without God and how when they finally found him it was the greatest moment in their lives. In detail I heard about their trials and tribulations from their childhood ranging to their early 40's. When your hear those kinds of stories, your mind immeadiately thinks back to all the moments in your life where you've made a bad choice or done something you've regretted for years. As I listened my eyes drifted up into our youth pastor, Jay's. For a quick second I was in direct line with his eyes, and thats when it hit me. What do people see when they look at me? And for that matter do I look the same to everyone or I am viewed differently by everyone that I know?

It was weird thinking about it, and for a while my mind just kind of drifted off questioning what people see when they look at me? When I got home that night, I looked at myself in my bathroom mirror and I didn't really see anything new. Same 6 foot 5 J-moose, with acne on his face. Still I wondered what others see. Fast forward to work the next day. I was a little bit of a rush to get my returns done and start cleaning my department, since it looked as if a bomb had gone off in it. I was speeding down the action alley towards the bikes when I passed fellow blogger and friend, Klla. Usually we don't have a chance to exchange pleasantries since she's rushing towards the front to get to a register and i'm usually running around with Barbies in my hand, but 9 times out of ten we usually exchange a smile, which is just as good as a hello in my books. Anyways, we passed by one another and managed to see into her eyes for a brief moment, and again my mind immeadiately thought about the image portrayed to her when she looks at me. It's weird to think about that, mainly because she doesn't see me as often as everyone else I know, and usually the only chance we get to talk is over msn. You don't have to tell me Klla, it doesn't really matter, it's just the thought that intrigues me. But again, what goes on in someone else's eyes? Look at school life for example, you've got over a thousand kids cramped into one building, and each one of them has their own view on what that school looks like, and what each student looks like. It's hard not to think about how people see me, since everyone at BT has seen my face on the morning announcements, but do I look like that guy with acne making his nose look bloodshot red and a 6 foor 5 misfit, or am I just a voice without a face?

Whatever the case may be, I know when I look into a mirror I see a boy desperate to find his place in life. God knows where i'm headed, but unfortunately me and God have yet to get to know one another, and it's truly unfortunate. Jay Brock told me he didn't find God till he was 17. I'm 18 and I haven't found God, but I know in his eyes, i'm constantly changing, and thus a true image can never be revealed. Maybe one day i'll be able to see what exactly changed, but for now i'll keep questioning.

J-moose

She's Looking For Some Courage. She Feels Faithless, She Feels Earthless

Now before we begin, i'd like to let you guys know that i'm having the worst week possible so far and i'm kind of losing faith in my intelligence.

Today I was sitting in my philosophy class and a song started playing in my head. A song about a girl (most songs are), but to me this song is more than that. It's not a love song, but a description of this girl and what she questions, the struggles she goes through. For me, it was the only thing that kept me from wanting to cry. I don't know why, but even as I write this, I find myself gradually slipping into despair. When I hear this song, a different set of lyrics play through my mind, and instead of a young girl it's about a boy. If this sounds anything like the song about the girl, I apologize Raine Maida.

--

Every morning is a new day, a new fight, a new struggle, a new light. He wakes up to the same song, day after day, those same words etched into his brain. The mirror in his bedroom likes to play tricks on his mind, supplying false images of what he should be. Muscular ain't worth it, being a dreamer just don't cut it, those 5 minutes of shame when he sees himself, get harder everyday. He cries out to sky, expecting answers from above, but God won't listen, he's got to do this on his own.

--

In his mind he's the epitomy of failiure, friendless, souless, selfless, and scared. But his minds a cruel tool, makes him believe what he really shouldn't. Everyday a new friend prayers for his happiness and hopes to God he knows it. Those lonely hours he spends walking the town searching for his purpose questioning life, love and what he can't understand.

--

And hope is what he really needs. Some hope to help him breath. He's grasping for the surface...But the suface just ain't worth it, let me be gone, let me go.

--

A reminder that I always write my best when I feel like crap. This is a key example of that.

J-moose