A Year Under The Influence

So tomorrow is new years eve. Thats right folks, this means that 2007 will end at 12:00 am tomorrow. I was talking to a friend about the past year and it got me to thinking about how i've spent 2007. So here it is, my review of 2007.

Quite a few things have changed for me in the past year. For starters, I gained and lost a few friends. To begin the year, I had these people as my closest friends: Helena, Flaviu, and Michelle. Now I was still good friends with Felicia, Giacomo and Kristina, but H, F, and M were the 3 I always hung out with. Movies, parties, and other things, I was usually with them. As the year progressed, mainly in the summer, we kind of lost touch. No, not kind of, completely. They all kind of moved on without me. They'd do things together, but I wouldn't be included. Yeah it sucked to know that I wasn't called on anymore, but it helped me to realize who my real friends are. Felicia, Giacomo, and Kristina. You three are amazingly great people, and I can't imagine better friend. So there's the loss of friends, now how about a gain of them. For starters there's Jenae. I met her in my grade 10 com tech class, and ever since then we've become good friends. It's kind of hard to describe her, but if I had to try i'd say that she's got a big heart, tons to say, and is always willing to listen to her friends. Your amazing Jenae. Hmm, who else I have really become friends with this year? OHH! Katy! Me and Katy actually go way back, all the way to elementary school. She left in grade 4 i think or maybe 5, and ever since then I hadn't seen her. Then a summer ago she began working at wal-mart with me. At first I was like "Who are you again?" mainly because I completely forgot her and had to ask people from elementary school to tell me who she was. We'd talk every so often when we worked, but in the last few months we've talked a whole lot more. In a way she's a little like me. She's gone through a few of the things I have, she doesn't know where she's going in life and she's been confused with some things. She writes a blog like I do and usually we'll read one anothers and give an opinion or two. Katy, your beautiful and I never want you to think otherwise. I think that kind of sums up the friendship part of the year.

I guess the next thing about this year would be, "sigh" relationships. I'll make this short and simple. I'm messed around with my ex a little bit, we stopped talking. We started talking again around the beginning of novemeber. I'm still single, and probably will be for some time. I'd rather wait to find someone I can actually care about then rush into a deadend relationship.

Next would be accomplishments. Truthfully I didn't really have any set goals for 2007 other then to start dating. Hmm, well I guess turning 17 is an accomplishment right? ...who am i kidding, I didn't make good use of this year.

So here's my plan for 2008. I'm gonna make a list and actually keep to it. It's not going to be something i'll never accomplish, just simple things that i'd like to try.

1) Drink (alcohol) - I know its something that I could have done a long time ago, but i've never had an interest too.

2) Make 5 new friends - It is my hope that within the next year I will meet 5 people I can trust and call friend. I have only 4 people now that I can truly trust.

3) Be more social - To make these new friends I'm going to have to go out more. Meaning that I'm going to have to start accepting invitations to social events.

4) Attend at least 4 concerts - I've confirmed that i'm going to Foo Fighters in March, but I need to go to at least 3 more. Matt Good might do a full band tour so that would be good, but I need some other good bands to tour again.

And finally

5) Lose weight - this one is simple. Stop drinking 5 cans of pop a day and go to the gym more.

Thats all for now


J-moose

Sally

Sally

Sally took two steps

Made sure she didn't look back

Travelled down a winding road

Kept her possessions in sack

--

Sally stoped to say goodbye to all her childhood friends

Made sure to tell them lies so her story couldn't end

Continued on her path until she saw the bend

To know where she could go

Meant the world would have to end

--

Sally turned to go right then ended up left

The curve has now turned straight

and leads Sally to her death

--

Sally's lost for years to come

and her family could care less

They just continue on as if Sally didn't exist

Her friends all try to cry

But their tears become supressed

Sally's won't be remembered nor will she be missed

--

Well now that i've got that out of my system lets write the new blog. For the last few days i've done pretty much done nothing but eat, sleep and work and listen to alot of music. I bought a few albums a couple of months back but I never really listened to them so i'm taking tonight to do so and already I can tell these were worthwhile purchases. Right now i'm listening to "Stars - In Our Bedroom After The War" and i'm pretty impressed. If you guys are interested i recommend taking a listen to the songs "Bitches in tokyo", "The Night Starts Here", and "Take Me To The Riot". Stars is all about love and romance so I know a lot of my friends wouldn't like it, but I can't get enough of it.

--

Another great album that i'm just listening to is "Tokyo Police Club - A Lesson In Crime" and again its just some pretty awesome Canadian indie music. It's a little weird at some parts because it talks about robots taking over the world. Kind of weird but then again every artist has their weird songs. Now thats an interesting thought, robots taking over. I wouldn't be suprised if it happenend, since the world is pretty much run by machines. Oh well. I can tell i'm not gonna write anything meaningful tonight so i'm gonna quit while i'm ahead.

J-moose

Short But Simple

I've been staring at the screen for about 10 minutes now, and i'm really unsure of what to write. ha. The number of times i've started a blog with that sentence kind of suprises me since in the end I usually have something i'm proud of written.

Something weird that i've always noticed but never talked about is MSN Messenger. Not the program per say but the conversations that occur on it. From what i've seen, people can usually express themselves 50 times better when they don't have to talk directly to someone. Example: My cousin told me yesterday that she had a relationship where the guy broke up with her over msn. And its not just other people, it's me too. Me and my friend Kristina can sometimes talk about things a whole lot easier over messenger mainly because it's more secure. But really if you can't talk about about things in person then what is yout friendship based on. Not to rag on any of my friends, your great people, but it always makes me wonder, if we didn't have messenger would three quarter of friendships out there be as meaningful as they are? hmm, interesting

j-moose

For You Klla

This ones for you klla


I'm writing this for a friend, who is reminding me of myself right now. She's going through something very similar that I did. Of course, it's about her "Love life". She fell for a guy that she thought liked her back. She liked the way he made her feel, and the things he said allowed her to become lost in a whirlwind of emotions. I've always felt that when you make a connection like that with someone, your either going to become very close with them, or you'll lose them over a stupid argument. Klla tried to ask the guy out, and unfortunately he said that he was going for someone else, which pretty much sucked for Klla. Tonight, she told me that the guy was trying to flirt with her over msn, and that she still wanted him to make her feel the way he did, but knew that he had hurt her. I told her what I thought, but i'm writing about it on my blog page, because this is somewhat similar to something that happened to me. Or in my mind it seems similar to what happened to me.

When I was in grade 6, i began to like this girl named Meghan. For almost 3 years she was the only thing on my mind, and when I was about to tell her how I felt, she told my best friend that she liked him. That hurt, big time. Luckily for me, my best friend had no interest in her, and I ended up telling her how I felt. It took her a little while to except it, but she came to like me. During our grade 9 year, we sort of became an item. We pretty much just told people we were going out, but really it was just to be able to say we had a significant other. Of course it ended in a bad way, and we stopped talking for a while. At our grade 9 spring formal we ended up sharing a kiss, and it made my night. Of course we didn't elaborate further on it, so we just stayed apart. In grade 10 we started talking to each other again, and towards the end of our grade 10 year we sort of hooked up again. Again, it didn't work, and we ended up not talking for a little while. When grade 11 rolled around we tried to be just friends, and for a while it seemed to work. I started to like another girl, but in the back of my mind I still wanted Meghan. Turns out she was still interested in me. Then something happened that changed how I thought about her. She offered me something that all guys want, including myself. At first I was like any guy, but when I really thought about, its not what I wanted. So I did something i'm ashamed of. I completely blocked her out of my life. I stopped talking to her fully and completely. I hurt he pretty badly, but I knew that if I wanted to meet other girls and try to have other relationships I had to.

Then, something happened. I realized that no matter how much I hated her for offering me this "thing" I still loved her. By this time she had found someone new, and I was left to wallow in my self pity. But you know what people, when I finally apologized to her for the way I acted, the feelings I had for her disappeared. Yeah I was jealous of her new bf for a little while, but in the end I just said fuck it. I realized that even if I wanted to be with her again, it can't and won't happen. I finally moved on with my life. Now i'm trying to meet new people and find someone new for myself. There's a few cute girls at my work, and if I play my cards right, you never know what can happen. Klla, your a great girl with tons to offer to the guys of the world. You've got a great smile, amazing personality and your a good listener. Believe me, when you find the right guy, you'll make him happy. Don't beat yourself up over what could have been, because its not worth it. I know you'll find true love, and so will I. We just have to be patient, and let our lives take their course. I hope this helps just a bit....

J-moose

Patience Is a Virtue

A friend once told me that Love is a mystery to everyone. No one knows when they'll meet true love, or who it'll be. Be patient people. Life is too long to be worrying about finding love when your 16 or 17. Maybe you will, but most likely you won't. I'll admit, I was in love once, but i've gotten over her. She moved on and so did I, now we're just friends. I'm still searching, and I probably will be for a while, which is fine for me. If you expect your true love to be the first person you date, then your wrong. If you wait for Love to just come knocking on your door, then your wrong too. Go out and search for love!!! Your true Love is searching for you too, and when you find them, they will make all your dreams come true.

J-moose

Blue Skies over Green Grass

Blue Skies Over Green Grass

--

I walk through the fields

and bathe in the suns orange glow

Words can't describe

this image

Beauty is what comes to mind

--

Looking into the sky

the clouds pass by

and I drift into a sleep

Is this for real?

Am I here to stay?

This seems to perfect to be true

--

Eyes open,

Mouth closed,

Arms and legs at rest.

Blue Skies over Green Grass

A World For Me and You

--

My body feels at ease,

The forest with evergreen trees

Awaits my wandering eyes

--

One foot forward,

to enter this peaceful world

another to leave the old one behind.

I've waited for this day for years,

and now it has come to pass

I've left the life I used to know

For Blue Skies Over Green Grass.

Toronto Trip

Oh where to begin with my day. I guess the beginning seems like the logical place, so here it is. This morning I arrived at school to work on our morning announcements. Same thing like every day, the anchors suck (excluding Julia) and they have no personality whatsoever. I was floor directing so I had to be sure to listen to our directors cue's so I could motion for the anchors to start talking. Pretty dull right? Then came the fun part. After all the equipment was put away, I went in changed to my street clothes, because my class was journeying to MUCH FREAKIN MUSIC!!!! No it's not that exciting since Much has gone down hill greatly since George and Rick left. But anyways, we borded the bus and after an hour long drive we arrived on Queen Street, right in front of the Much building. We had two hours to go shop and do whatever so me, Kristina and Victoria went around to a bunch of stores. I was going to go cd hunting and try to find matt good bands first album but I ended up getting Neverending White Lights first album instead.

The girls took me into alot of stores I wouldn't usually go into, but I had fun none the less. It's not like I could buy from these stores, considering i'm a fairly big guy and these stores are made for the size zero's. The largest shirt I found, which i was planning to buy, was one size to small and there wasn't one a size higher. Shitty luck huh? After shopping we hit up Mcdonalds for a little lunch. Let me begin by saying that homeless people scare the shit out of me. This guy who was entering mcdonalds the same time we were began talking to us telling the girls he was a "kissing machine" and if they needed a kiss he would give them one. Scary. Just scary. Then he proceded to show me his pocket watch, which was apparently a "wind up one, so its a collectible and its probably worth a lot of money". Buddy, if it was worth a lot of money, then sell it and get a nice suit and go apply for a job somewhere. Anyways, after lunch we went back to Much for our tour. It was alright tour considering none of the VJ's were there, although for some reason Trevor Boris was and we got to talk to him for a few minutes. He started asking what video's we wanted to see on video on trail and I course yelled out everything that came to mind. And yes, I was the only one who asked questions, for the second year in a row. I went last year as well and I would not stop asking questions to Tim Degan and Devon Soltendieck. I have an unhealthy addiction to Much....

J-moose

Starlight, Starbright

.....So why am I still doing this blog? When I logged into blogger a few minutes ago, I had no idea what I wanted to talk about. Yet, here I am, five minutes into it, and suprisingly enough I still don't know what I want to discuss. The possibilities are endless, there's always something floating around in my head, but tonight I can't seem to focus on anything. I'm sitting here at my desk, doing my history isu and listening to some tunes, but something just doens't feel right. Usually if somethings wrong I get I a feeling in the pit of my stomach, but not tonight. I can't figure it out. Maybe there's something i'm supposed to do, someone i'm supposed to talk to, somewhere I should be. I turned off the light in my room, so all i see is the glow from my laptop. Maybe this will fix it.........

No. Still feel weird, still think there's something I should be doing. Not homework, not Wal-mart. Damn, what the hell is it? this gonna bug me for hours now. I just wanna be outside and sitting at the park down the street from my house. I haven't been there in so long, but tonight it seems to be calling to me. The monkey bars, which i was always to tall to go across, but short enough to sit on top, seem like a look out post over my neighbourhood, and I feel tempted to just go there tomorrow and lay on top for hours on end. The stars and the moon beating down on me, with a good friend there too. I think its one of those things you want to share with someone close. Not a boyfriend or girlfriend, just someone you feel comfortable enough with to talk about life and the perils it holds. Sometimes I try to imagine that person, but I can't. I haven't met them yet. Or maybe I have and I just don't know it. Time to pray for answer? No. I'm gonna figure this one out on my own. Maybe this person will read my blog and look to the stars themselves, or maybe they won't.....

J-moose

North American For Life

A few blogs back I discussed a problem I had with my creative side, that being that it doesn't exist. I'm supposed to come up with something for my literary presentation for wednesday that is creative, so i've been looking non-stop for inspiration. So in my search, I came across something from a fellow blogger using song title to creat a new poem, which i thought was pretty damn cool. So i've decided to that, using Matt Good/Band title. Since i have so many songs to choos from, i'm gonna try to use songs people haven't heard.

In a world called catastrophe

99% of us is failure

The workers sing a song of mass production

For The Rat Who Would Be King

--

They're Advertising On Police Cars

while Under The Influence

of A Boy and His Machine Gun

--

The Future is X-Rated

And I'm Born To Kill.

I Stay in my Alabama Motel Room,

but I Haven't Slept In Years

--

Hello Time Bomb

Is this my Prime Time Deliverance?

or the Change of Season?

--

I'm Running For Home

and I Miss New Wave.

This is the Bright End of Nowhere.

This is 21st Century Living.

-

Maybe i'll write another new blog later.

J-moose

I'll Be Your Friend

I'll Be Your Friend

--

Why do they hurt me with names of such hate?

Its not like I want this,

it doesn't feel great.

I may not be like them,

but i don't want to change.

I like who I am

their style seems so strange

--

I'm 10 years old,

and its supposed to be fun.

Instead i'll be hiding

and crying

In the shadows i will walk

and in the grass i will not play

the other children laugh at me

--

sticks and stones may break my bones

but names will never hurt

if this saying was really that true

then why do i feel like dirt?

--

But what is this i see

someone i didn't expect

a girl, my age

who i don't call a friend

--

She's pretty in pink,

and has a bow in her hair.

She has big blue eyes,

and her smile fills her face

--

Come play with me,

my name is karene.

You look very sad,

and feel out of place.

That used to be me,

before i came to this place.

I know what its like

when your starting a new

so thats why i'd like,

to be friends with you.

--

Wow, I wrote this out of sheer boredom, and now I can't believe I did. Its not based off anything, just right from my heart. Now for the rest of my blog. I've just been told by one of my work friends that she's been let go. I was kind of upset when I heard this, because we were just starting to talk a bit more and I was enjoying her company. It sucks to know i'm not gonna see this person again (at least not for a while), because I was kind of starting to like her, and yes like meaning develop a little crush. I knew it wouldn't go past that, so I just ignored the feeling and accepted the friendship. It sucks that its like this but, I can't control it. Thats all for know....

J-moose

The Truth Behind Blue Eyes

I'm writing this as a continuation of the blog I posted last night.

Why do we cry? There's something tugging at my heart strings right now, thats making my eyes tear up, and I don't know why. To be honest, I actually do cry from time to time, mainly because it keeps me sane. Usually when I feel down I just sit in my room and I cry. It used to be that when we're kids we cry because we see something sad in a movie, we cut our knee, or we did something bad and we were being reprimanded for it. Now, as we grow older, we cry because we realize that the stupid things we did as kids prepared us for the stupid things we'll do as teenagers, and the stupid things we'll do as adults. There it goes, the first tear has left my eye and dripped down onto the keyboard, yet it feels weird. I'm happy, but i'm sad. I'm warm, yet cold. This feeling is something strange to me, something that i've never experienced. Maybe it's because i've finally come full circle and let go of my old life, maybe its because I don't want to accept my new life, or maybe its because I just want to find a new life with a new identity, and start the rat race all over again.

The third tear. It's kind of tickling my face as it streaks down, but i'm not going to wipe it away. Its officially sunday, so good morning to anyone who will read this. If your just joining me, i'm writing about how I feel.

Somedays I wonder what life for everyone around me would be like if I died at my current age. I'm sure i'd be missed, but something tells me that I there would only be a few people who would truly be able to say I affected them in some way. Only a few people would miss me. I know its a terrible way to think, but from my perspective its the only way. I have 3 people that I know i can call best friends, and out of those 3 I feel there is only one that I can be truly open with if i really wanted to be. I'm tearing up again. My literary studies teacher always tells us that he doesn't have a lot of friends and with the ones that he does have, he categorizes them from A-C. The A list, is comprised of his closest companions, the ones he'll see more the most. The B list is comprised of those he sees only when the mood strikes him or if something comes up that he knows a B lister will enjoy he calls them up. The C list is comprised of everyone he prefers not to fraternize with, mainly because he doesn't want to become better friends with them. I found this to be a unique way of thinking and tried this list with my own set of friends, with a few exceptions. My A list is comprised of people whom I trust above all others and possibly people I will see outside of school. My B list will include those could one day become a listers, but to be truthful there's only of them i'd consider for A list friend. This is because she's a good person with a great personality, I just have to talk to her a bit more and accept her invitation to come to her youth group. Finally my C list would be composed of everyone else, work friends, and people I see on one time occasions. So here it is, and this time i'm actually going to say the names and not use that Mr. or Mrs. crap. I'm actually going to say the names.

A: Giacomo, Felicia, Kristina.

Borderline A/B: Jenae

B: Meghan Sarah, Helena, Flaviu, Michelle, Kyle, Erik, Natasha, Katherine, Ryan.

C: Work People, Tyler, Nick.

So there it is. I can't believe i'm actually posting this for people to see, but I know that it'll make me feel a lot better once people read it. I know only a few people have checked this page out, so really i'm not too worried about offending anyone. Actually, at least one person from each list reads this page, so i'm kind of intrigued to get a reaction. I think thats all I have for now, so i'm gonna head to bed. Later


J-Moose

The Truth Behind Brown Eyes

Something that i've found interesting with my life is the fact that it's never been too dull as to where i'd be bored with who i am, but it's never been to exciting to the point where it all becomes too repetitive. At the current time, having some form of change in my life would be pretty nice. I'm kinda bored with everything around me. It's pretty much the same routine every day. Wake up, go to school, go through 3 classes of which only two i like, come home, do homework, go to work, put away toys, come home, do more homework, go to bed. Of course there's eating and bathing within that, but i didn't feel they were necessary to add.

For all it's worth, i can't figure why i feel so bored. Usually it's because i hate something thats happening to me, or i've done something that i know i'll regret for the rest of my life, but this is something new. I think when i decided to change who i was, i changed the wrong part of me. No, i'm not going to go back to being completely ignorant of other peoples feelings and completely ignore everyone around me, i just don't think its fair to go on keeping that part of me locked away. That part of me is the part that wants to leave my hometown. No i'm going to go as soon i'm done writing this, but the idea is intriguing,

For as long as i can remember, i've never felt that i belong. In elementary school, I kept to myself, maybe had one or two people i'd call friends, but as the years went by, i was usually known as the loner. Within that time period of being the loner, I had quite a few self revaltions. For starters, most people will never realize that there's something good in front of them, until it's gone. I can't count the number of times something good has come into my life and i've just let slip away. I've also seen people i know (friends, work associates, and just people i've had one time encounters with) allow this to happen to them. They would be dealing with relationship problems, family issues, having fights with their best friends, and i'd just watch them destroy something good, because I never had the courage to speak up. Another realization was that no matter how much i wanted to change my past, i couldn't. To this day i've always had this fascination with going back and changing all the bad things i've ever done. Sometimes i'd even pray to God and ask why i would do things that hurt people, and i'd hate him because i never got a response. But when I looked at the big picture i realized that i hadn't been looking hard enough for his answers to my prayers. Some of the most simple things in life answer our personal questions, and people will never realize this.

The final realization i had, was that friendship is, as bad as this sounds, not the most important thing. I'm not putting down my friends in any way by saying this, but for what its worth, i've always felt that if was going to accomplish anything with my life, I need to be on my own. Believe me, I love all of you in many different ways, and i'm actually tearing up while writing this. For me to say that friendship didn't help me grow, would be wrong, but in many ways its the truth. Ever since I had my most recent revaltion (quite a few blogs back if you wanna go read it), i felt that the friendships i have, or at least a few of them, have lost their initial appeal. I think i know what has to be done. After i complete my "extra lap" in highschool, which would be next year, since i haven't graduated yet, i'm going to work full time, earn a little cash, and then go see the world. Maybe backpacking through europe, or something like that, but i have to know that there's somewhere else out there i can call my home. I'm opening this to any of my friends who are interested. If you want to discover something about yourself, the world, and learn about where you fit in, join me. I don't judge, i don't criticize....

J-Moose

Creativity Isn't One of My Finer Aspects

I'd like to begin by stating that coming up with something new to write about every other day is hard. So please, don't be expect too much in terms of me going deep into my emotions. Then again, everytime i write with the intention of not being deep, it turns out that way, so lets see where the night takes me.

Omg, something just happened that was totally random. A friend, who i've recently started talking to alot more, left me this random message on facebook. I of course had no idea what she meant, so it was natural to ask her. She told me that someone left her a message in the honesty box on facebook. I won't rely the message on here, but know that the person who did leave it was quite forward with their feelings, and didn't hesitate to tell her. Sucks that they didn't say who they were, mainly because i think this girl is a great person who deserves a great guy. But to each their own i guess. I feel bad for her because she's a very beautiful young lady, and i hope she finds someone soon. If you guys think that because i'm complimenting her like this means i have some feelings for her, i wouldn't say your wrong, but i wouldn't say your right either.

Ok moving on, i'm kind of in a dilema at the moment. No its not relationship problems if thats what you people are thinking. I do have other issues. The problem at hand is a presentation i have to do on tuesday. I'm actually excited to do it, because its on my altime favourite musician Matthew Good. Your probably thinking that if its on something i like, there shouldn't be a problem, but there is. The creative aspect of the project. I'm not creative at all, and i need to figure out what i'm gonna do for it. I had one idea, which was me learning one of his songs and then performing it for the class. I pitched it too the teacher and he really wasn't that thrilled. So there's one idea down the drain. Then i thought, what about making a music video for one of his songs. Problem being, i'd need people to help me, an idea for a video, and a song that i'd want to see made into a video.

Another issue with that would be, I have too many matt good song's i'd want to make into videos. Suburbia my all time favourite song is one where i know i could shine creatively. Rico could be something funny. Near fantastica has some potential but its way too long, over 8 minutes. Which would mean i'd have to come up with 8 minutes of video. Not happening. Another cool one would be Middle Class Gangster, which i seem to be listening to a lot of lately. I'm trying to stay away from Matt's solo career since i'm focusing on Matt Good Band for the presentation. Any ways i think i'm gonna get back to doing some homework, but i'll be around to check comments.


J-Moose

I Almost Didn't Have A Title

So there's an album (lo-fi B-sdies) by my favourite artist of all time, that is unfortunately not in print anymore. The artist, matthew good had this to say on trying to find one of the 5000 copies that were released:

Matt's Methods Of Getting A Copy Of This Album Are:
a) Try looking in some used record stores. You never know what you'll find.

b) You can try to buy it from someone on the internet but it'll probably cost a lot.

c) Go get the Edgefest 99 CD and buy Beautiful Midnight. That way you'll have Fated and Born To Kill and will only be missing our cover of Enjoy The Silence.

d) Home invasions.

e) Walk through the streets naked with 'LO-FI-B-SIDES' written on your chest and see who responds.

f) Try calling Dave Porter at Universal Music in Toronto and ask him. It was their idea in the first place. He might even do your laundry if you ask him nicely enough. Hell, he does mine when I'm in town.

g) Start a political party whose only agenda is to have it put back into production.

h) Find a girl or guy who has it, woo them, pretend to fall in love with them, steal the CD, and dump them flat.

i) Walk into reception at the Universal Music's head office with a machine gun and start screaming demands. That way you'll probably get a whole whack of other free shit as well. (Such as the Rammstein Live video!)

j) That's pretty much all I could come up with.

This made me laugh for a few minutes.

This Makes All The Hurting Go Away

Rehab has never seemed funnier.

Middle Class Gangster

Where in the world would i be without my music? I honestly can't remember the last time i wasn't able to solve a problem by listening to music. Tonight for example i've just been listening to a lot of soft music, and or something that gets hard during the chorus. I've also begun dabbling in this band called explosions in the sky. A fellow blogger told me about them, and i've gotta admit, their pretty good. No vocals, just band. It's pretty awesome. For some strange reason though, i haven't been able to get this one song by matthew good band out of my head. It's called Middle Class Gangsters, and its just this soft little diddy. Its pretty much about this guy who's not the norm for the world. No girlfriend, and gets beat up a bit. But for some reason, i feel totally compelled to sing along with this track. I figure i share the lyrics with you, since i don't know how to add background music. So here it is, enjoy:

"Middle Class Gangsters"

Ain't got no action grip

Don't come with a full compliment of weapons

Get off your illin tip

I don't recognize anybody from around here anymore

--

And I don't want to be your punching bag

Are we losing

are we Middle class gangsters

-

Wasn't looking at your girlfriend

Didn't touch your Mustang

When I was In the parking lot What don't you comprehend

Well I'll speak slowly if your on something

Or faster if your not

--

And I don't want to be your punching bag

Are we losing

Are we middle class gangsters

--

So put on British steel Curse today and

How you're feeling

Well everybody up and down my block

They used to matter when we used to rock

--

And I don't want to be your punching bag

Are we losing

Are we middle class gangsters

So What?

I don't care anymore. I feel pretty damn awesome today. Considering i've got tons of homework and an assignment i'm supposed to be working on right now, thats due next period (i come home on lunch to finish stuff up) and i'm not even close to being done editing it, yet i feel as though i don't have a care in the world. While i'm typing i've got 3 songs on repeat that i'm singing along to:

True Love Will Find You In The End: Matthew Good
The Living: Neverending White Lights ft. Corey Puerlmo
Christmas ( baby please come home) : U2

These 3 songs have this amazing effect on me, that makes me happier then usual. True love will find you in the end for example, is helping me realize that love will come to me when it finds me, not when i find it. It tells me that i don't have to worry, because true love is searching too, and that i just have to step out into the light to let it know i'm there. The living talks about how people will let the world pass them and wait their whole life before they let people in and feel truely happy and at peace. If i went up to someone in the halls at my school today and asked them if they take what they have for granted, their response would probably be "not a chance". But if they were to answer truthfully, they'd probably regret most of the things they've done. The living kind of makes me think like that. Christmas (baby please come home) is really just about wanting to spend the holidays with good people, and possibly make someone close to you feel pretty good. Well i was supposed to leave my house 10 minutes ago, so now i'm gonna be late for last period so later everyone......

J-Moose

Stay True, We Believe In You

I just read something about true love that i'm never gonna forget. It's from a fellow blogger, and I've gotta say, i'm becoming quite interested in her blogs. I'm not gonna post a link for her page or tell you who it is, mainly because she wants to stay private, but if you guys ever find this person, read what she says and take it to heart. My heart actually sped up while i was reading it, and i've never had that happen before.

J-Moose

Where Do We Go?

If anyone was to ask me at age 10 what i wanted to be when i was older, i probably would have said video game designer. At age 15 I had planned on being a teacher. Now, at age 17 I have no idea where i want to go and what to expect out of life. If I was going to decide on a career I probably would want to go into the field of broadcasting, mainly because it's my dream one day to be a much music vj. I know, its a complete contradiction to my earlier blog stating how my goal in life is to be forgotten, but I am allowed to have more than one dream.

I have days lately where I feel like i'm wasting my time here in my hometown. In the back of my mind I know that there's somewhere else i should be, doing something that would either better the world or just the people around me. How many people can honestly say that they've never felt that they should be somewhere else? Everyone has these kinds of days, but to me these days are kind of a message from God. Religion, something i've choosen not to talk about on here, mainly because i'm currently unsure of what i believe in. There's things about the Catholic church i don't believe in, but then again, there's also tons of it that i do believe. Weird, how most kids who go to a catholic school are unsure of their faith, yet won't admit it.

I think I know what I have to do. I think i'm just gonna take one day over the christmas break and just go out and completely explore my hometown. Not by car, but by foot. In case most people don't know, I walk most places instead of driving (also because I don't have my G1) There's so much I want to see and do around town, but i feel like i've always been sheltered from it, by my own need to stay away from the world around me. I probably won't discover anything new about this place, or about myself from doing it, but it'll be interesting to do.


J-Moose

I've Resorted To Writing On Here To Discuss My Problems.... I'm Weird Like That

I think i've had one of those days where your mind tells you to do one thing, but your heart tells you the complete opposite. Personally these i believe that these are the days that i wait for, mainly because they cause me to think outside of the box and concentrate on things i'd completely ignore. But today it made me focuse on one topic, and it's the topic i always seem to discuss on here, relationships. One would think that i write about relationships because i seem to crave to have one myself, and i think i'd be lying to myself and to anyone who reads this, if i said other wise. Any time I talk to someone about finding a significant other, i always end up saying the exact same thing "there's not a girl desperate enough out there to date me". The more I say that, the more i come to believe it. But then again, i've never met a girl who was interested in me as more then a friend.

To be brutally honest though, i did have something for a friend of mine for the majority of highschool, and we tried to make it work, but it never did, and now she's got a boyfriend. Then again, i'm not the best option for a boyfriend.....there i go, putting myself down, only to realize i'm hurting myself and ruining anything good in my life. Whoops, sidetracked for a second there. Most girls i know are amazing. Their beautiful, smart, funny, and serious when the time calls for it. The ones i consider close friends have boyfriends, and i couldn't be happier for them, but it just leads me to believe that there are no good girls left out there for me. Then again, i don't know many people with which i could go out and meet new people with, so really i'm kind of limited in my choices for relationships. Of course there are some pretty attractive girls where i work, but i'm not one to just go up introduce myself, and try to spark up conversation. And the majority of them already have boyfriends, and in all honesty, are way out of my league.

So there it is kids. I've pretty much resorted to writing on here to discuss my relationship woes. Sad in way, but in another, i can always rely on the feedback of my fellow bloggers......

J-Moose

Wasted Days

Its 1 am, and i'm supposed to be doing my history reviews. About 5 minutes ago i got this weird beat stuck in my head, and all of a sudden i was on this page writing this new poem/song. Don't try to sing it on your own, cause you won't figure out the beat. I think i'm gonna call this song

Wasted Days (ba da ba da )

All my life i've been searching for the happy days.

All my life i've been searching for you.

Destiny, is a part of all the things you do

Don't turn away from me,

In time i know you'll see.

--

I've been so lost

it hurts to realize i'm found

i think i'm souless

but i could just be feeling down

--

Days are wasted, calling on you, its true

Time ticks by and i still don't have a clue.

Where do i go, i honestly can't say i know.

Everything i'll do, i'll do it for you

--

Wasted days, sitting on my ass,

and smoking grass.

My whole life feels like such a fucking

sham

--

Time is ticking

and you're still standing at my door.

I think i've seen enough of your face.

Leave me the hell alone,

because i think i'm fucking stoned

but really who's gonna care?

--

Days are wasted, calling on you, its true
Time ticks by and i still don't have a clue

Where do i go, i honestly can't say i know.
Everything i'll do, i'll do it for you

--

Bah ba, bah ba, ba da ba da ba da.

ps. i still can't get the spacing right, so it's probably gonna look kind of messed. i'll try to make it obvious where there's a new paragraph.

Please Don't Shoot Me Santa

This is just to elaborate on my point of christmas songs have become pathetic.

Christmas Music Is Beyond Messed Up These Days

So, this is the first of my christmas blogs, and i've decided to make christmas music my first topic. Personally i'm not really a big fan of christmas tunes, mainly because i've been hearing them since september for the last 3 years. September? Yes september, and its because i play in my schools band, and our teacher decided that practicing christmas music on september 7th would be a fun idea. Not really.

But besides that, i've always found christmas music to be really annonying. Don't get me wrong, there are some songs out there that i really enjoy. I think there's one called "Christmas Shoes" and it just gets me all the time.

"Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please. It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size. Could you hurry Sir? Daddy says there's not much time. You see she's been sick for quite a while. And I know these shoes will make her smile. And I want it to look beautiful If Momma meets Jesus tonight"

Even i can enjoy a song like that. But then there's the artists who feel they must punish us and redo some of the best songs to ever exist. For example, Alvin and The Chipmunks redoing every christmas song imaginable. I always wondered why their music was only played once a year, and i think its Satans way of punishing us. Your probably thinking i'm off my rocker on this one, but what other time of year do alvin, simon, and theodore come out to shine? Not one other holiday! Satan had to do something for having to suffer under, the birth of christ every year. Joking!!! But then again, for the past two years, the killers have released two christmas songs. Last years effor was pretty decent, but this years is pretty scary. Who in their right mind entitles a song "Please don't shoot me Santa"?? Something tells me Brandon Flowers had a bad experience with Santa as a child, possibly involving a gun of some sort.

In my opinion though, there's really only 2 songs out there worth listening to. Blink-182 "I won't be home for Christmas" and The Pogues "Fairytale Of New York". Trust me kids, these songs make the holidays bearable.....


J-Moose

Christmas Has Begun

And so it begins. The holiday season is upon us my friends, and i for one, i am not excited. I personally don't care much for christmas anymore. To me it seems the holiday has lost all meaning. Honestly, this time of year is so fake its not even funny. So here's my plan. With the help of my blog i shall post something christmas related every few days or so. Some topics might include, movies, music, true meaning of christmas, how its to commercial, santa claus and how he was made by coca-cola, and tons of other things. Christmas is such a broad topic that there's tons i could talk about. The commercialism of it could be at least two blogs long ( but since i'm not that great a writer, it'll probably be half a blog) Tomorrow i'm gonna try and do a completely new blog, but it might take sometime to get it going. I need some christmas inspiration before i can become completely in tune with blogger abilities. Thats it for now......


J-Moose

Crimson Moon

Crimson Moon, i bask in your glow
and embrace your call

The world seems so so distant, your glow
becomes cold. I stand at your edge and i'm heir to it all.

My eyes begin to water,
my heart begins to race
the crimson moon
and my soul are replaced

Black tree's wither, and green grass dies
I've lost all hope in humanities lies

You christen your home neon lights.
You scream inside and you've lost your sight

Oh Crimson moon, my soul and my life
my world has faded away. Bliss and joy
are forgotten, with the dark days i forsee.

My crimson moon, will you desert me?

A Second Time Around

I started writing this blog last friday night after my formal, and it is one of two that i'm posting. The first was my actual review on formal. Hope you guys enjoy.

It's weird isn't it, how when you feel like the world is betraying you, everyone else around you seems to be on cloud nine. Thats the problem with having a shitty weekend. I worked 11-7 saturday and sunday, and then came home to the most boring and pointless two days of my life. In all honesty though, if i had wanted to have a better weekend, i could have put more effort into it. Maybe if i had just thought positive and and worked to my full potential, i could have had some good times. But i let my frustration take over and control my emotions, resulting in a bad weekend. Technically speaking i don't really have to many friends i can call up and hang out with, although i might start hanging out wit D.A a bit more.

Do you guys have that, people who you talk to at school but outside of school, its like you don't exist to one another? I've kind of had that for years with some people. I even have it at work. I'm friends with one of the girls in electronics and sometimes she'll invite me to hang out with her and her friends after work, and she's done it a fair few times. (if you people think she's interested in me, she's not. Just wanted to clear that up) I've always said no to these little outings, mainly because it's usually to some party, and parties really aren't my thing. Ahh, parties. Drinking, drugs, and the night you won't remember. Not that i'm against any of these things, mainly because drunk people are hilarious, and the smell of weed is awesome (although most people i know hate it). And i guess this really elaborates on my point as to why i have no social life. Weird........


J-Moose

Your Head's In Your Heart Now

So i guess once in a while parents are right, and its a shame that i didn't listen to mine regarding this.

Tonight was my school's winter formal. Yes, most kids usually have fun at this things, but of course, yours truly is the exception. Let me explain my night to you. It started by going out to dinner to jack astors with a few people. .For the entire dinner i had this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I just felt crappy the entire time and the only thing that made me feel somewhat better is when i went to talk to my two best friends. My burger (yes, i had a hamburger, i don't eat veggies or anything that good for my health. A shame isn't it?) was undercooked and the cheese wasn't even melted on it, so honestly what else could go wrong? When i finally got to the dance i had the Privilidge of meeting Miss K's boyfriend, who i must say was quite the nice guy. I talked to a few times througout the dance and he was really cool. As for the rest of the night i had a pretty crappy time. No it wasn't the music, and usually music is what makes me hate these dances. I think it finally occured to me that when the majority of yourfriends have dates (i don't have a lot of friends so close means around 3 or 4) then where's the fun in dancing with yourself?



To be truthful though the only reason i went was because it's my final highschool year and i figured i should at least make an effort to go to all the dances. In all honesty i think that i had more fun when i went to the ones in grades 9 and 10, mainly because most people didn't have a significant other and i had more friends that i could dance with. The times are changing, and by the looks of it i'm the exception. Not that its a bad thing, i mean, i've always enjoyed my solitude, it's never been an issue with me. I guess if i had wanted to have a good time i would have put more effort into it. You get what you give, and obviously i didn't give enough.....


J-Moose

So It's A Song We Want

So i was visiting another blog i read, and the author, darkaura posted a song, which he wrote himself. It was pretty awesome. So i figured i'd post a song as well. I was originally gonna post a song i wrote on my facebook page, but instead i ended up writing a brand new one.

"The Corner Of Truth And Lies"

And i Was So Afraid of

what this world was doing

I stood in the shadows of

my own regret

And my tears were so cold

i couldn't remember the name

of the world and all its games

they were so.......

So it's really come to this

the world will spin

and i am standing on

the corner of truth and lies

and i'm waiting the day

you realize

i wasn't gonna stay,but

maybe i'll wait a day

it's still the rain that keeps me

at bay.

I look to the stars

and all i see, is the fool i used to be

It's so cold in this old house

the walls are talking and

i can't take it, just one more pill

will make it clear to me

So it's down to one last kiss

and your close you eyes

the worlds still spinning

and i believe that this

is the corner of truth and lies

The world is gone,my life is lost

and sanity has failed

but when i close my eyes

i see the place

where i will always prevail

Thats all for today kids

J-Moose

If I Gave It All Away For One Thing

As some of you may or may not know, i play in my schools band. I'll admit, i'm not that great but i like playing so it doesn't matter. At yesterdays practice, a semi-friend (used to be full friend) started talking to me saying things like "Oh my god, we never see each other any more" "We should really talk more". It's a little upsetting to be hearing things like that because really i had no intention of not talking to this person anymore. You see, last summer when most of you were out having a good time, i was sitting at home bored out of my skull. My so called friends never called me to hang out once, and the one or two times i made the effort to call them, they showed little to no interest in seeing me. I remember i asked one of them if he was interested in coming to a concert with me, sometime in october. His reason for not wanting to come, "I don't know what i'm doing that day". Bullcrap!!! It was july when i asked him, and the concert wasn't until october. Of course you don't know what your doing that day, its not for another 3 months.

How many of you have had something similar happen to you before? You're friends with someone, then 5 minutes later you never rarely talk and you find yourself hanging out with a completely different group of people. It's a sad thing to happen, but i'm pretty sure i'm not the only one who's experienced this before. Hit me with comments, and i'll draft your responses into a new blog......


J-Moose

I knew I'd Be Discussing This Topic Again

A second topic on what you might ask? Love and relationships. I was on missyD's page and she was asking what true love is. I gave a response which in my mind is correct, but i think i'm gonna add a bit more to it.

This is my description of when a boy likes a girl and how he chooses to act upon his feelings, and how the girl (i think) responds:

Boy: His palms are all sweaty, and his beats faster as the moments pass. There she is, the girl of his dreams. She may not be the prettiest or the most popular girl, but his heart can't deny him of his wanting. They've talked before, and the connection is definitely there, but something is holding him back. His nerves always seem to get the best of him, because when he tries to express himself, the words he chooses are never the right ones. But today will be the day. When classes end, he approaches he locker, the words come out perfectly. He studders, of course, but finally manages to ask her out. A date, and a simple one at that. Dinner and a Movie, what could be more classic?

And so the day approaches. The dinner wasn't at some fancy restaurant, but at some place where they could enjoy themselves. He talks to her, discussing school, life, jobs, and their friends. He can't help but look into her eyes, and be lost in them for a few seconds, before realizing he probably looks like a moron doing so. A witty remark and few minutes later, they continue to the theater across the way. He chooses dramedy. Something serious, yet suttle when the moment calls for it. The films not important to him, only the beauty sitting in the seat beside him. His mind is contemplating, his actions. The simple holding of hands, or the arm around her? The answer never reaches his mind, because before he knows it, she's resting her head on his shoulder. He quickly puts his arm around her and smiles triumphantly. The night ends and he takes her home. He doesn't want the night to end, but he knows that it will. They reach her door, and smile at one another. Suddenly, time seems to stop. He leans forward and closes his eyes, hoping she responds. Nothing else matters, except her. And there it is, he finds her. He's waited for so long for this moment and to him, it lasts an eternity. Finally, they part. His face is beat red, as his hers. She leans in and hugs him, whispering softly in his ear "i've been waiting for this"


Girl: For two months he's all thats been on her mind. Her friends always tell her that he's way out of her league, and try to explain how a guy like him works. She ignores it. She knows him better than that. They talk almost everyday, and have a few classes together. To her, he seems like the perfect guy, sweet, charming and cute. What more could she ask for? She begins to put her books into her bag, and begins to relax after a long day. She looks over and see's him approaching. Her mind tells her that he's probably gonna ask about some homework, but her heart wishes for something else. He asks what she's been waiting for, and gladly agrees.

Dinner and a movie, what a perfect first date. She spends hours picking out the perfect outfit, choosing the right makeup, and getting her hair just the way she likes it. She waits and eventually he shows up. They reach their first destination, a quiet little dinner. They talk and she loves hearing his voice. Her eyes gaze into his, and she realizes that he's looking directly into hers. He quickly starts talking and she intently listens. They finish dinner and head over the the movies. A dramedy. Perfect. Her oppurtunity to flirt approaches. The movie starts and as interesting as it is, she wants him to make a move. She notices him slightly move his hand closer to her, but pulls away at the last second. Nerves. How cute. She slowly rests her head upon his shoulder, and feels his arm slip around her. To her, nothing could ever beat this moment. The film ends and he drives her home. They step out of the car, and walk to her door. She smiles, and wonders what he's thinking. She notices his eyes again, and feels compelled to look into them. Then closes her eyes, and leans forward. She doesn't know what to expect, and she doesn't care. But its there, she finds him and they become one for what feels like an eternity. They break apart and she wraps her arms around him and whispers "i've been waiting for this".....

J-Moose

Somebody Gave You A Voice And All You Do Is Abuse It

Today i finally kept a promise that i made to myself when i was 10. While on my lunch hour i bought myself a journal. For 7 years i've had so many thing's i've wanted to put into writing. This blog is a good start, but it's hard to come up with topics everyday to write about. Thus, if i have a journal, i can constantly write down my thoughts, and then when enough has been composed, a new blog will be written. Don't worry though kids, i'm going to update the blog as often as i can and try to do it daily, but being deep and emotional has its limits.

The best writing comes from when have lots on your mind, you feel like crap, and you wanna cry. The first few blogs i wrote represent that. I can honestly say that at this moment i have a few things on my mind, i feel pretty decent, and i definitely don't need to cry. So i'll make another promise to you and myself right now.. I promise that i will always write on this blog and in my journal, even if i have nothing to say. I'm also gonna throw it out there to anyone that wants to write on this blog alongside me. Everyone has something to say, not just me, so heres your oppurtunity. I have made it my personal goal to make this blog something for the people, not just myself anymore. The worlds to big to just focus on myself. So for now, i will write to please my readers and myself....


J-Moose

The Beauty Is Gone For Good

I was walking home from my workout this afternoon and i noticed something thats never really caught my eye before. Along the sidewalk was an endless abundance of garbage. Chip bags, pop bottles, and i think i might have seen a test for some class. The world is becoming a disgusting piece of junk. When did the use of a garbage can become replaced with our green land? I always hear people warning me about the condition of our blue and pure earth, but i've never taken notice up until today. I'll admit i've done my fair share of littering over the years, but now when i look at the world around me, i question where the beauty has gone. When i look at the world today, i don't see see it through the eyes of a ten year old anymore, i finally see through the eyes of a young man, who finally realizes that he's helped cause the destruction of forests, the ice caps melting, and is part of a generation who don't give a rats about anything.

Yeah kids, we're the generation that doesn't give a shit. It's a known fact. We listen to our ipods on full blast, drive around in our rich daddies Hummer and pollute the sky, then to top it off we think that by underage drinking and smoking weed makes us look cool. In my last blog i spoke about where the broken man lives, the forest with a meadow around the bend, and waterfall that never seems to end. I honestly hope that somewhere in the world there is still a place like that. Somewhere that the government, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and the monster known as Britney Spears haven't reached yet. Gee, what kind of dream world am I living in? A place that amazing could only exist in my dreams.

In a world that cries out in pain, some men will die each day in vain....

J-Moose

Cold Day In The Sun

Before i begin the latest and greatest from J-Moose, i'd like to congratulate my good friend Miss K, on entering into, what i believe (correct me if i'm wrong) to be her first relationship. She's an amazing young women and from what i've heard, he's a pretty good guy. My hat goes off to both of you.


Now the fun begins my friends. I walk almost everywhere i go. I don't feel the need to get my license, because i believe if i drove, i'd miss out on the world around me. The weather has never really had to much of an effect on my walking, in fact i love being outside in the cold. I love the feeling of the cold breeze running through my hair, and letting the wind slide though my fingers. I reached out one day, as if i was going to grip the wind, and quickly realized that to feel the wind, you have to become one with it. So i stood in place and let the cold breeze surround me. It's a weird sensation, but if you can do this, you feel the weirdest tingle all through you body, and its quite the unique feeling.

I also walk everywhere because i love the scenery. I was walking home from school last week and when i reached the path i take, i noticed that the leaves had blown off the trees forming this quaint little outline of the dirt path. It was quite the coincidence since at the time i was listening to "Yellow Brick Road" and the path before me was primarily yellow. Weird how stuff like that can happen.

Within what is left of the world beauty lies the home of the worlds unfound treasure. A forest with a waterfall and a meadow right beside it. The tall lush flowers that grow year round, and the animals that live in harmony, have their own distint sound. A simple little home for the man who left the rat race, to discover his own path. The life of a Broken Man may not be the best, but sometimes it beats the rest.....


J-Moose

Tits, Ass and All The Glories Of A Highschool Dance

So next friday is my school's winter formal. Despite the fact that i'm going, i hate school dances. The music usually sucks, the girls dress like whores and the guys usually consider the night a waste if they didn't get to cop a feel. Thats all it's about anymore isn't it boys? Tits and ass. The way i see it, most guys who go to these things will only have one thing on there mind (if they don't have a date), and that is how many girls will i grind with tonight? Kinda of disgusting right? But its the truth. Even guys who go with dates are tempted to look at some of the other girls there who let the guy they're dancing with completely feel them up, which is appauling to me. Show some dignity people!!

Is this what society has come to, only caring about breast and ass size of women? I mean yeah, looks do count, but how many celebrities do you see dating someone because "they're a good person deep downinside, and thats all that matters". Someone please tell that to the teens of the world and maybe we won't have to deal with kids who are constantly in a state of depression because they have no confidence in themselves......






Whoa, i think i just went completely off topic there. Back to the whole formal deal. Despite the fact that i'm going, according to my mother its a bad idea. Hmm, now would why this be considered a bad idea you ask. "Well whats the point in going if you don't have a date?" ?!?!?!?!?!?! Maybe because its my last highschool year and i should make an effort to go to all the dances this year, or maybe its because most of my friends are going, so it might be a good idea to have some social interaction, since i never go out. Well if i wanna go i need to see if my suit from last year still fits, since i'm not getting a new one according to my mom. It's upsetting to think that my mother doesn't think i'll have fun because i won't have a date, when i know countless others who won't either. But who am i to argue, i'm just a kid without a cause and the world is my playground........

J-Moose

Look To Your Right, and Then Your Left. If The Person Sitting Next To You Is Not Who You Expected Then Look Forward, And Look No Further

Friendship. Life isn't about the money you make, the fancy cars you might buy, the supermodel you might marry or the big house you might live in. It's about your friends. I can't tell you guys how many times i've seen people take friendship for granted, including myself. People always tell me that they don't like the people they hang out with, or there's so much drama with that person. Well guys i'm gonna tell you something, you don't have to like the people you hang out with. It doesn't make you a bad person if you don't like someone, in fact it makes you a better person. If you liked every single person you hung out with, and didn't think twice about that persons flaws, then i might think that your some kind of robot. Everyone, including me have people in their lives that they just can't stand. If you really can't take your friends anymore, even the ones you've been friends with, then try hanging out with someone new, someone you never see outside of school. I mean, this past weekend i hung out with someone who i rarely see, and i had a fun time. We've all got someone in our lives who we're always wanted to get to know, here's your chance guys and gals

My mother always told me, that everyone has one true friend. Someone they can trust above all other people, someone who will be their shoulder to cry on when they feel sad, someone they can depend on above anyone else. I personally haven't met this friend yet, but i know people who have. When you find someone out there who is willing to help you above anyone else, you know you have your one true friend...

J-Moose

It's Good To Know

I just wanted to quickly drop by and say thank you to the number of positive responses i've had to my blogs. I try to put thought and effort into what i write, and it is hard to come up with meaningful topics to discuss everyday, but none the less i try. It makes me happy to know that i'm not the only one out there with problems like mine. So here's what we're gonna do. I'm now opening my blog to giving advice to anyone who needs. I know that if we deal with our problems together we can help one another become stronger better people. Most of you know who i am, and unfortunately some of you choose to stay anonymous. I want you to know that i'm here to help you, no matter who you are. Maybe your someone i rarely talk to, or someone who i've never talked to at all, just know that i'm more then willing to lend my assistence in any way i can......

J-Moose

Hapiness May Not Be A Fish You Can Catch, But I Think I've Come Pretty Close

I don't go out a lot, but usually when the oppurtunity arises i will endeavor to make my presence known where ever i am. Tonight i actually had the privledge of being invited to two seperate things, one to hang out with some people at work, the other to go see a movie with a friend i rarely see.

I wasn't really into going out with people from work, not that i have anything against them, because they're good people, but i wanted to spend the night at home just chillin. Then as luck would have it, an old friend invites me to a movie, an oppurtunity i didn't wanna pass up. So i went out with him and his buddy, and i had a fairly good time. But instead of more boring details lets just get straight to the point. We went to see Fred Claus, which was kind of crappy. But throughout the movie there's that feeling of being happy. Maybe its the music, maybe its the sceneary, whatever it is, it makes you feel good inside. I'm not gonna lie, when i feel good inside i wanna cry.

I don't think i'll ever understand why happiness is so catchy, but i know that it deals with matters of the heart. Love makes you happy, your friends make you happy, knowing that you've done something fulfilling makes you happy. Tomorrow is a new day my friends, and for what its worth i think we should all do something to make someone else happy. I don't want anyone to expect praise for making this other person happy, just the thought of knowing that you did something good, should warm you soul. Right now i feel the happier then usual, and it's a shame that its after midnight and i can't share this feeling with anyone because i know that i could really make their day. I leave you with a thought my friends, "To see another smiles after you've made them feel good, is the warmest sensation that we as humans will ever feel"...........

J-Moose